


Stelam

by Sokona The Unethical Vulcan (PoorQueequeg)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Don't read if you are sensitive, Explicit Smut, F/M, Feelings, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Romulan Bondage, Sex, Triggers galore, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-04-04
Packaged: 2017-11-27 11:37:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/661560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoorQueequeg/pseuds/Sokona%20The%20Unethical%20Vulcan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"What about you? Can you speak Romulan cadet?"</p><p>"Uhura. All three dialects sir."</p><p>Supremely porny, not for the faint of heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [KerryLamb](https://archiveofourown.org/users/KerryLamb/gifts), [Valyria (Vayria)](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Valyria+%28Vayria%29).



> My attempt to meet the following:
> 
> Prompt: Spock and Uhura experiment with Romulan Bondage with interesting results!  
> Requirements: Smut, smut and more smut  
> suggestions: Angst, dirty talk, dubcon, possibly OOC Spock, strange bondage equipment, D/S  
> bonus points (in no way required): alien genitalia, BDSM club scene, caught in the act

 

 

Spock has been dreaming, torturous gut wrenching dreams that no amount of meditation can seem to chase away. He tried to hide it, tried to hide himself away in the solitude of his quarters but he can't keep it up, he can't keep away from her because what is worse than the dreaming is being apart from her. To not feel her soft feminine form in the bed beside him or to stir in the morning without her scent on his pillow. To wake in the night, trembling and gasping and not feel the soft palm of her hand soothing along his spine, her fingers lovingly caressing the point of his ear. He can't help it. He loves her.

 

 

“Spock,” she croons, enfolding him in her embrace. He goes willingly, hiding his face in the crook of her neck and holding onto her tightly as she pulls him down into the mattress. His heart pounds, his mind races and through it all Nyota is there, soft and sleepy and oh so beautiful.

 

“Spock,” she repeats when the trembling fades and he pulls back, propping himself on his arms to peer down at her. Her voice is gentle, cracked from sleep and her hair is mussed wildly. Strands stick in the fuzz of beard growth that shadows his chin and she reaches up to gently brush them away. She blinks at him drowsily and looks him in the eye, cupping his jaw and kissing him softly on the lips. She lies back and opens her legs in invitation and his breath hitches at the sight of her beneath him, warm, welcoming, comforting. He cannot resist her. He has never been able to resist her.

 

He loves her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

All the dreams are agonizing but some more so than others. Visions of his mother, of Vulcan, of Nero.

 

Nero.

 

Spock is Vulcan. He does not hate.

 

And yet he does.

 

He dreams of Nero's neck in his hands, of seeing the light in his eyes fade as he squeezes the soul out of him, of the sickening thud of his lifeless body falling to the floor. He hates it.

 

He likes it.

 

He wakes, twitching with energy and rage and hard as rock.

 

And Nyota is there, soft and sleepy and oh so beautiful.

 

“Spock,” she breathes and he is lost.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Spock has always been impressed by Nyota even if like any other man the first thing he noticed about her was the way she looks. She wasn't his student then, she was just a stunning creature hurrying across the quad on a sunny day in September. Spock was just starting his tenure as an instructor, one five year mission complete and another one waiting after a brief hiatus manoeuvred by Captain Pike until the Enterprise was ready. Three days later and that stunning creature was sitting three rows from the front in Advanced Phonology and when she opened her mouth to speak Spock found himself impressed all over again.

 

Uhura, Nyota U, Ensign, Communications, 3rd Year.

 

Gifted. Hard working. Beautiful.

 

And much, much later, his. His beautiful Nyota, who he loved in spite of all logic.

 

His gifted student knows many languages but Vulcan is one of her strongest and when she speaks the sound is as beautiful as she is. On top of that she can speak Romulan too and that's rare for a Human Spock knows, even more so because Nyota knows all three dialects proficiently and though she modestly swears to him that it's really not as impressive as people think, Spock cannot agree. He is highly intelligent and not without skill at languages but Nyota, well Nyota really has a gift. The way the words roll off her tongue is so precise, so perfect that if you closed your eyes you would swear you were listening to a native. They used to practise together, in his office at all hours of the day and night until one day they stopped speaking in tongues because they found something better to do with them.

 

They still practise although not quite how they used to but things are different now and Spock will take what he can get.

 

“Yes,” she hisses, through her teeth, her nails digging into his ass as he moves inside her. “Oh please, oh please don't stop!” It's always turned him on to hear her cry like this but these days he finds Standard lacking. He switches to Vulcan and his always adoring Nyota obliges like she hasn't even noticed the change. It's so sexy, the way she babbles as she comes, her tight body clenching around him and sometimes as her face screws up and her voice becomes a whine it almost sounds....Romulan.

 

He comes. Hard.

 

And he's ashamed of himself.

 

* * *

 

 

She is so beautiful, lying there beside him and sometimes he lies awake just watching her. He wonders if she truly knows how much he loves her, how much pleasure she gives him.

 

“It's a beautiful, special thing,” she told him as she loosened the button of his fly the first time she went down on him. “To give pleasure to someone you love.” Spock couldn't disagree, not when it felt so good.

 

It still feels good, the flat of her tongue along the underside of his cock licking from root to tip in one long wet lick. His fingers tangled in her hair as she teases his swollen head, they way her eyes go wide as she takes him in deep and best of all how much she likes it, how much she wants it. She hums around him and the vibrations seem to reverberate right to his core and when he comes in her mouth she moans.

 

“My little star,” he tells her in Vulcan, cupping her face in one hand and stroking her hair with the other.

 

“I love you,” she replies, rubbing her face into his touch like a cat seeking attention and he knows that she does. He knows that she loves him, he is glad for it, he is glad she is so willing and unafraid. He is glad for her eager embrace as he enters his quarters, he is glad when she's on her knees on the floor, sucking on him as he towers over her, his fingers tangled in her hair. He hasn't even undressed yet but that's alright, she likes it and he likes it too. He likes the sound of his boots clanging against the hard floor as he drags her towards the bed, he likes the guttural rasp of Vulcan as she hisses at him. “Yes, my beloved, my Spock!”

 

His eyes are wide and his expression feral as he leans over her, her head clasped in his hands.

“I have been thinking of this moment since we parted,” he tells her in his native tongue and she pouts at him sensuously, reaching up to slide her hands under his shirt.

 

“What have you been thinking?” she purrs as she divests him of his shirt and digs her claws into the hair on his chest. His lip curls slightly at the bite of her nails on his skin and he grunts, fumbling with her dress. “My logical Vulcan,” she teases, batting his hands away and pushing up on to her knees to grab his ears and pull him in for a kiss. He growls and clutches her biceps so tight there will be marks in the morning, flipping her over and pinning her to the bed.

 

The sex is frantic, Spock is demanding and bossy and Nyota's being argumentative although in the most gratifying possible way. He ends up on his back as she straddles him, her hands pressed against his chest and her nails digging in hard enough to draw blood. The cabin is filled with the wet smack of flesh against flesh as she rides him and she moans loudly, her eyes rolling back in her head as he splays his fingers across her face and goes into her mind. Her back arches and she shifts and the angle lets him penetrate her so deeply that he cries out. It's so overwhelming that for a moment he's exposed, the dark recesses of his consciousness revealed to her. She doesn't have enough time to process it before the swirling sandstorm of his desire overwhelms her, overtakes her and becomes her. She sees what he sees, feels what he feels.

 

Wants what he wants.

 

Nyota falters, catching herself by grabbing onto his shoulders and holding on tight. Her face is contorted in a grimace that looks like pain but it isn't, it's something else and the curl of her lip becomes a sneer.

 

“Murderer,” she growls but the guttural snarl is not Vulcan and it's not Standard either. Spock's eyes are wide as she glowers at him like she hates him and when she wraps her hands hard around his throat, he comes.

 

* * *

 

 

 

They don't discuss it. They don't need to. She feels what he feels, she wants what he wants and her want feeds his want, her pleasure feeds his pleasure. It's the nature of sharing, of joining minds like they do. Like they have since the beginning, since that first time when it was new. His perfect recall lets him replay that night and how she whimpered as she lay spread out beneath him, trembling like a newly opened virgin as he withdrew his hand from her face, his seed oozing down the smooth dark skin of her thigh.

 

In the morning before shift, Spock likes to come inside her and leave something of himself behind. He'll watch her on the bridge and know that he's inside her even there, know that she's sticky and wet and that he made her that way. She doesn't look at him as she passes but his nostrils twitch, the sweet scent of her cunt diluted only by his own potent musk.

 

 

Nyota was right. It was special. It was beautiful.

 

Spock thinks it is a little less beautiful now but she's still beautiful and it will always be special.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

She rides him, her forearm pressing against his throat so hard he can't breathe. Romulan is harsh and rasping language, not pretty like Vulcan and every word is like a curse.

 

It is a curse. She tells him he deserves to suffer as she chokes him but he doesn't suffer, not really. He writhes and moans, pleasure spiralling out of control and when he comes, he comes harder than he's ever come in his life. That is, if she lets him come at all.

 

* * *

 

 

 

He deserves to suffer and suffer he does. All day he's watched her, watched the smug knowing glances and teasing movements. Yes sir, right away sir, excuse me Commander, may I have a moment of your time. He endures the agonizing burn of unfulfilled desire, of interrupted pleasure, plotting, scheming, planning his revenge. Spock is a Vulcan and he endures it with such stoicism that noone could tell what is raging inside of him but Nyota knows. She knows and it excites her.

 

He doesn't want to hurt her, not really, he doesn't want to damage her he just wants to see her cry, just a little because he can't. Or won't. He just wants to hear that beautiful sob as she cowers beneath him, her fragile Human body trembling in his arms and when he sees the wetness of her lashes, he _feels_ such elation. The smack of his palm hard against the soft swell of her ass, the way the sheets tangle as she jerks up the bed and the beautiful dusky red of her skin where his hand strikes her over and over and over. How she begs and pleads, please sir, oh daddy I'm sorry, oh Spock, my Spock.

 

He loves the stuttering gasp of breath as he pulls her to her knees, the flutter of her pulse beneath his fingers as he wraps his hands around her throat and squeezes. The long black trails of kohl that smear across her cheeks as her eyes water when he tangles his hands in her hair and forces himself to the back of her throat and makes her choke. The exquisite pleasure he feels when he comes and how breathtaking she looks, her beautiful face bathed in it.

 

He holds her still, one hand gently cupping her jaw while the other strokes up and down her back as he admires the sticky white mess on her face. Her eyes are closed and she's shaking, catching her breath as he holds her close and kisses her ear. He feels her in his mind, knows that she felt every tremor of excitement and every flutter of pleasure like an electric shock. She's not afraid of him, she knows he'll stop before it hurts too much, before he does any real damage but there's something, a feeling.......

 

Spock won't let her complete that emotion.

 

“I love you,” he tells her, turning her face to look her right in the eye. “All of you, just as you are. You are all that I desire.” Nyota screws her eyes shut and hides her face in his neck, trembling uncontrollably. Gently he lays her back against the sheets and proceeds to softly kiss every part of her body before he settles his head between her thighs. Slowly, torturously, with every ounce of Vulcan discipline he laves at her pussy, luxuriating in the scent of her. His tongue traces every inch of beautiful brown skin, every crease and fold, probing deep inside her pussy before brushing up with the flat of his tongue to suck her clit between his teeth. Afterwards he holds her to him, revelling in the scent of her on his face as she falls into a deep and dreamless sleep.

 

He loves her.

 

He envies her.

 


	2. Chapter 2

 

 Tonight it's like it always was before, sweet, tender, loving. In the shower she stands in the circle of his arms running a sponge over his skin and smiling at him. When she reaches up and cleans behind his ears, Spock closes his eyes and practically purrs. Nyota's gentle chuckle makes him feel warm inside, in a place that used to feel empty and he holds her close. He loves her so much.

 

She sits in his lap, wrapped in his robe as they waste time on his console. Spock rests his chin on her shoulder, his cheek pressed against hers while her elegant fingers flit across the screen with deft movements. There was a time he would have struggled to see the logic in this kind of behaviour but he doesn't think that way any more. It is not logical for her to be unhappy, she is human and his mate and if she needs it, if it makes her stay he'll do it. He'll do whatever she wants, after all she makes concessions being with him, she knows about what will happen to him and to her one day, that unknown point in the future when his time comes.

 

It's logical to prepare. It's logical to be ready for the day when he's little more than a snarling, rutting animal, when he'll be so far beyond logic that he might damage her in ways that he doesn't want to think about and wouldn't think about except that he must. In an ideal situation they would go away somewhere and be alone but life is far from ideal so he knows in all probability that they'll have to deal with it here on the ship. It's logical that she should learn how to handle him, his inner baseness, how to restrain him, how to bind his hands and feet so that he can't hurt her. It's for her own good and Spock knows if it's good for her it's good for him. He doesn't know what he would do without her.

 

Spock doesn't wonder about how excited she seems at the prospect. He's excited too. He wants her to enjoy it and gently tucks a curl of hair behind her ear as she peruses the images on the screen in front of them. He watches through his lashes as she sucks her lower lip into her mouth and glances at him with a bashful blush spreading across her cheek.

 

“Would you like that?” he drawls, his voice low and gravelly as she stares transfixed at the screen. His hands slip under the robe and caress her skin and she sighs a little. Nyota doesn't answer but then, she doesn't need to because Spock already knows that she'd like it, that he would like it too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

It's not demeaning, Spock thinks it's beautiful. She is beautiful.

 

When he enters his quarters she's waiting for him and by now even the sight of the scarf in her hand sets his pulse racing. Under her watchful eyes he peels away his clothes and she doesn't even have to push him back on the bed, not anymore. He's compliant, he's willing, he deserves this. She straddles him and he blinks at her in that lazy feline way before she leans forward with one last smile and wraps the scarf around his head, covering his eyes. When she stretches across him to bind his wrists one by one, the hard points of her nipples brush across his face and he hums. Nyota's breath changes as he sucks one into his mouth and she arches her back, offering her breast to him and sighing with pleasure as his tongue swirls hotly over her skin. She strokes his ears, his adorable pointy ears and runs her fingers through his hair and revels in the knowledge that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else than there with her in that moment.

 

She fucks him at her leisure and if he gets any pleasure it is secondary to her own. He deserves to be used, Spock believes it and so she believes it too. If she toys with his balls, sucking them one by one into her mouth it is because _she_ likes it even if it does make him so hard it almost hurts. When she slides her mouth down the hard length of his cock it is because _she_ wants to taste it, if she chokes on it as she takes it down deep it is because _she_ can't get enough of it even if he loves the way it feels as she gags. Her wet fingers brush across his perineum and his breath hitches, a long sharp hiss through his teeth as one finger and then another press deep inside of him. Nyota's pussy clenches with envy that she'll never be able to feel what it's like to really fuck him so she fucks with his mind instead. As she rides him, it is because she wants it, it is because she wants to feel him pressed deep inside if her, because she wants to feel his gloriously thick cock stretching her. When she lets him come _-if_ she lets him come _,_ she likes to sit on his stomach and nudge the blindfold back with a nonchalant toe. She spreads her legs and lets her fingers probe the sticky white mess dripping out of her pussy and he sucks on her toe, growling with delight at the sight of her. Her high round breasts heave as she catches her breath, her chest and neck flushed red with exertion and her hair a tangled mess around her face. If he's been a good boy she'll lick up the mess she's left on his belly.

 

But when she doesn't let him come, Spock snarls and strains against the bindings at his wrists, his still hard cock rising up between them. Nyota curls her lip in distaste and jerks his head to one side with a malicious swipe of her foot and when he nips at her ankle she leans forward and slaps him hard across the face. She knows it doesn't hurt, she can feel it, more a tickle that shivers through his body straight to his balls. Her Spock is a Vulcan, he doesn't feel pain the way she does, he doesn't suffer the way she would if their roles were reversed and she is going to punish him for it.

 

It feels good, she knows it, when she drags her nails across his skin and leaves angry green trails that glisten in the candlelight. He likes it when she pulls his hair or when she shoves her fingers to the back of his throat and makes him gag. It makes his head spin when she wraps her hands around his throat and squeezes and squeezes until his eyes roll back in his head and he gasps. Nyota knows how to torture him in the most delicious ways, knows it drives him out of his mind when she shuffles forward and drags her wet pussy over his face. She loves the way the scratchy stubble on his chin feels as it rubs against her clit, prickly and abrasive. Spock can't help himself, his tongue sliding out from between his lips to lap at her as she comes. Sometimes she'll peel away the blindfold, her clit burning deliciously at the look on his face as she slides the white scrap back and forth between her legs. Spock opens his mouth eagerly as she gags him with it and the sight of his tongue laving at her scent on the silk is almost enough to make her come.

 

He writhes and groans and babbles against the gag when she rises above him and pours scalding hot wax from a meditation candle over his chest. It scalds his nipples and stings as it pours into the welts her nails opened up in his chest. It makes his stomach twitch but best of all is how he hisses and jerks his hips when she trails the burning liquid over his hard cock. Scalding blood red wax against his blood green flesh. She loves to run her fingers over the cooled wax, loves to rip it off his nipple and hear him gasp, she loves to run her fingernail around the ridged head of his erection and when she tears back the hard mass of wax that has formed over that oh so sensitive ridge on the head of his cock, he comes. It's hot and sticky and clings to her breasts, a vivid splash of white against her dark skin. Maybe one day she'll make him lick it off she thinks as she strokes her hands up his sides and kisses him on the lips.

 

One day she'll make him do lots of things she thinks to herself. Maybe one day she'll really make him scream, really making him lose control. In a way it's frightening, the things he makes her do. He never seems more alien to her than he does when he's beneath her, his eyes two bottomless black wells that seem to stare right through her, almost like he's not there at all. She feels a lot of things, knows a lot of things about him that he never has to tell her but sometimes things get lost in translation. There's a part of her that thinks he wants to kill her, the way he snarls at her, the things he says to her but when he joins with her, in her mind she _knows_ beyond a shadow of a doubt what he means, what he feels.

 

He feels nothing, he feels numb, dead inside and she....she makes him live again. She sees into the hidden parts of his psyche, that inky void of nothing where his world used to be, where his mother used to be. She feels the ragged edges of where it was all torn away from him, feels his despair, hears the howling of his soul as though it were her own. It _is_ her own and more because through the haze and fog and sorrow inside him there is only one thing he sees clearly, brightly.

 

Her.

 

He loves her. She knows it.

 

And she knows him.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

Maybe she's getting complacent or maybe she wanted it this way, she isn't sure of the answer but she knows she's in trouble. She taunts him, sometimes in Standard and sometimes in Vulcan but it's neither of those tongues that she's speaking when she gets him so riled up, so frantic that Spock strains and pulls and bucks against the restraints. The fury is pouring off him and into her and she shouldn't still be so shocked by how pleased she is by it but she's shocked all the same. A tiny flame of doubt burns in the back of her mind no matter how much he tries to quell it, melding with her and making love to her so tenderly it breaks her heart. Her heart should be breaking now but it isn't – perhaps that is what shocks her.

 

Spock shocks her. His hand suddenly in her hair shocks her. Being pulled down so that they are face to face shocks her, like the sting of his grip on her scalp. She's getting complacent or maybe she wanted it this way, she isn't sure which but she knows that she didn't bind him hard enough and now he's loose. Angry, frantic and aroused.

 

Nyota is on her knees again, his hands around her throat, squeezing so hard her eyes bulge and just when she thinks she's going to pass out he releases her. He drags her to her feet and holds her before him, his hands digging into her biceps as the cold floor shocks her fevered skin. He holds her that way, her arms out behind her back and her head hung forward as the round swell of her ass nestles against his hips. Nyota closes her eyes and tries to breathe but every ounce of air is knocked out of her chest by the force of his thrusts. Every stab of his rock hard cock into her body sends her breath stuttering out of her throat unbidden and just when she thinks she can't take any more it changes. The grip on her arm is released and his fingers are in her hair and she finds herself propelled forward towards the bed. Her face pressed into the mattress, Spock lifts her hips and she feels one thick finger probing the tight bud of her anus. She yelps and squirms as he works it inside and then another and then another. Spock snarls as she sobs and when he enters her it burns.

 

 

* * *

 

 

In the silence afterwards all she can feel is her own heartbeat, fluttering uncontrollably amidst the throb in her abdomen and his despair. Spock hovers over her, almost afraid to touch her but he's a Vulcan. He will own fear, not the other way around.

 

She finds herself wrapped up in his embrace, his lips in her hair as he coos to her softly, rocking her back and forth and more than anything it is the tremble of his limbs that really gets to her and she cries.

 

The sickbay is bright and sterile. Nyota doesn't want to be here but Spock insisted, dressing her limp form and carrying her here in his arms in spite of the prying eyes in the hall. Thankfully there were very few but still, now she's here she can't escape the eyes. Nyota feels unusual and Dr McCoy is scowling so hard she half expects his face to morph into some kind of grotesque gargoyle, screaming and howling demonically like something from a nightmare. That would be a good thing Nyota thinks because then she could wake up and be in bed curled up next to Spock and he'd rub her shoulders while she told him about her strange dream.

 

Except it isn't a dream, it's real. She's sitting half naked on a biobed while her friend and Chief Medical Officer probes her natal cleft with latex clad fingers. It's quite soothing in a way, the cool touch of his hand so gentle after the scorching heat of Spock's thick erection boring into her. It's not bad, Nyota knows this even if there is blood on his glove when he peels it off. The red on his fingers is nothing compared to the mess of green that's smeared all over her back and chest. What worries him more is the ring of bruises around her throat. Nyota won't be able to explain that one away. She wants to tell the doctor to examine Spock, to see that deep cuts she opened up on him but doesn't dare, uncertain if it will make this scenario more or less incriminating.

 

 

“I had an accident,” she croaks and Dr McCoy wrinkles his nose. She can _feel_ Spock pacing in the antechamber and it is almost worse than the ache in her limbs.

 

“Did you now?” the doctor drawls unconvinced.

 

Nyota isn't certain what she could possibly say to make Bones hate Spock less than he does right now. She isn't sure how she could possibly explain what they do or why they do it or why she wants it as much as Spock does. _He just got a bit carried away_ positively smacks of a meek battered spouse trying to defend her abuser but it's the truth, after a fashion. After all, she was the one that tied him up and did an egregiously bad job of it. She was the one that cut his chest up and slapped him in the face and spat at him in Romulan that he had no place in this universe. She was the one that sat on his lap and made him watch as she toyed with herself, made him watch as she slipped her finger into the puckered opening of her ass and moaned in delight as she told him he couldn't have it, that he didn't deserve it.

 

She isn't sure how she would explain it and so she doesn't.

 

“I had an accident,” she repeats as the doctor flicks on the dermal regenerator.

 

_To be continued......bwahahahaha......._

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. Technical issues. 
> 
> Also, I blame this entirely on Lambford and Valerie. Totally. I mean, I knew I was capable of smut but this....this is so....just...gah......just read it and you'll see what I mean.

 

 

 

Spock didn't know much about love when they met, beyond the familial kind. He was sure he _could_ not love her but he wanted her all the same. It wasn't _illogical_ in spite of all the things that should have kept them apart, after all even Vulcans need mates and she was beautiful.

 

He's come to realize since that his wanting her was a symptom of his loving her, that loving comes as naturally to Vulcans as it does to Humans and that he is both. It is not wrong that he loves her and that he wants her but he thinks his love is like poison. A snarling, primal thing that burns, scorching away everything good as it consumes. He can't help but think that his ability to love was sucked into the black hole where his heart used to be.

 

When they were alone once more he held her close through the night and although he didn't speak, his sorrow poured out of his mind and into her in waves.

 

xxx

 

He won't touch her.

 

When she reaches for him she feels only the most tentative brush of his mind against hers but even so it is laced with desire, with longing for her and she hates him for it. She hates him for making her need him, for feeling his absence like a hole in the head. She feels abandoned, she feels used.

 

He's dreaming again, she knows it because there are nights when she wakes, sweating and gasping, the bitter sound of Romulan curses echoing in her mind and the howling sorrow of his soul as keenly as if it were her own. It _is_ her own and she doesn't know why he can't understand that, why he runs away to hide in the solitude of his quarters leaving them both cold and alone.

 

 

 

Xxx

 

 

 

“You're avoiding me,” she accuses and he wants to deny it but he can't. He wants to tell her it's taking every bit of strength he has left not to come to her. He tries to explain but she doesn't seem to hear him or maybe it's just that he's not making any sense. When he looks her in the eye he falters. Her eyes are wide and wet and when she speaks her voice trembles.

 

“Don't you love me?” she whimpers and her sadness cuts him like a knife.

 

“You know that I do,” he breathes and Nyota's face screws up a little.

 

“Then how can you leave me like this?” she says, stepping closer and fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

 

“Nyota,”he utters but her tone is so pathetic and her eyes are so pleading that when she curls her fingers into his the words catch in his throat.

 

“I just want you to hold me,” she implores, her lip quivering. “I can't sleep if you don't.”

He thinks his love is like poison and now he has poisoned her too.

 

He holds her in his arms and then holds her sitting down on the bed and he's still holding her as she pulls him down on top of her. He has never been able to resist her.

 

She holds his face in her hands and peers up at him with unfocussed eyes, stroking his ears as he rocks his hips against her. It feels so good, so right when he's inside her, it always did right from the first time. When she scratches her nails down his chest and it makes him groan, his hips jerking into her hard. It makes her breath hitch and she whines, arching her back as she comes. He loves to watch her in those moments between her climax and his, when there is nothing in his mind but her and how her body feels and how much she loves him. She is soft and limp and so feminine beneath him that he can't help himself and when he comes, he sinks his teeth into her shoulder and moans.

 

 

Afterwards, she cradles him in her arms and strokes up and down his neck and shoulders, kissing his ear and humming at him softly as he falls into a deep and dreamless sleep. She feels tranquil again for the first time since he left her but when she wakes in the morning, she is alone in the bed.

 

She sees him, cross legged on the floor in meditation pose and she watches him for long time. She doesn't press him, not when he's like this and the space inside her where he resides is still and formless. Meditative. She is glad but when he opens his eyes, he's still like that inside her mind. Her brow furrows a little and she reaches out to drag her finger down his bicep as she lays amid the sheets.

 

“I love you,” she tells him. He blinks at her.

 

  
“And I love you,” he replies and although she knows that he does, really knows it, for some reason in that moment she doesn't quite feel it.

 

 

Xxx

 

She has her logical Vulcan back in her arms but she's never felt further from him.

 

He's not being fair, she thinks. She's not herself. She starts to think that maybe he doesn't really want her but he doesn't want anyone else to have her either so he keeps her like this, close but not really touching. His mind is distant, closed off and she aches for him. The space in her mind where he should be is surrounded by a wall that she cannot penetrate. When he touches her it's almost grudgingly, so reluctant it makes her feel dirty, it makes her feel...Human, like she's unreasonable and unnatural and she hates him for it.

 

She paces his quarters, eyes blazing and he feels so far away that she doesn't know how he is enthralled by the sight of her, furious and beautiful. Her hair is a mess and the soft swell of her breast peeks out from beneath her robe and he feels himself weaken.

 

“What about what I want? What about what I need?” she snarls.

 

“It is you I am thinking of,” he tells her and it is the truth.

 

“You're thinking of yourself!” she screams, hurling an old paper book at him. It misses and smacks into the door with a satisfying thunk, a few pages coming loose and fluttering to the ground. Spock's nostrils flare but he is unmoved by her outburst and merely raises one brow at her.

 

He is doing this _for_ her.

 

He takes a breath and drops to the floor to retrieve the book, a gift that she gave him a long time ago when things were complicated in a different way. She prowls back and forth, the smooth expanse of her thigh drawing his eye as she stalks towards him.

 

“Selfish bastard!” she accuses and he does not deny it. He's not spoiled exactly because Vulcan's don't spoil their children but he has a kind of smug entitlement that comes from being an only child, the apple of his mother's eye as she used to say.

 

His mother.

 

When he thinks of her he aches.

 

He rises to his feet and she glowers at him, chest heaving and when she turns to his desk to shove his 3D chessboard to the floor he feels a hot pang of desire. He can't help it. She is beautiful.

 

He straightens his spine a little and steels himself.

 

“You are behaving irrationally,” he informs her even though he knows it makes her crazy. She is right, he is selfish. Nyota spins on her heel and brings her hand down hard across his face.

 

 

Xxx

 

 

She loves him, her logical Vulcan.

 

She loves his brain, how he seems to know everything and the things he doesn't know he wants to learn. She loves handsome face and his kind heart but she loves him most of all when he's like this. Through the haze pleasure and passion that clouds her mind she still feels a surge of pride. She can't help it, it's intoxicating to see that icy exterior melt and to know that she's the one that makes him that way, that she's the only one. He belongs to her.

 

“Is this what you wanted?” he growls in her ear and the sound goes right through her body to throb between her legs.

 

He's got her over the console in his quarters, his hand around her throat at he fucks her from behind. His breath is hard and rasping, short sharp grunts and she smiles. Yes, she thinks, this is what I wanted, what you made me want because you made me this way. He knows it, hears it in his mind, feels it deep inside him but he wants to hear her say it just the same.

 

“Yes I want it I want it,” she babbles. Her head spins as his grip tightens and she struggles to catch her breath and when she comes, she sees stars.

 

Xxx

 

She wakes, flat on her back in the bed and dimly aware of a hand stroking up and down her spine firmly, possessively. She shifts drowsily and when her eyes focus she sees Spock's silhouette on the bed beside her.

 

“Little star,” he says softly in Vulcan, still stroking and she whimpers a little, nuzzling into his palm as his hand travels up her neck to cup her cheek. She smiles gently, well aware of the hardness pressing against her as she sits up and shuffles closer. Spock watches her with dark eyes and holds her by the throat, his grip gentle yet firm and full of promise and she tingles all over. She has missed him, missed this part of him and she hums through her smile.

 

Spock pulls her gently closer and looks her in the eye.

 

“I told you,” he utters breathlessly. “I told you and you make me do it anyway.” Nyota blinks and her brow furrows a little and when he shifts she sees the long black strap of his belt coiled around his fist. She shudders.

 

Spock paces for a while beside the bed, eyes flitting up and down her prone form as if he can't quite decide how he wants her. Eventually he makes her kneel in the middle of the bed and she sees the shadow of his pointed ears on the white sheet below. Like the devil, she thinks. He lets out a grunt of approval as he peruses her exposed sex, cupping her and running his middle finger over her wetness. She whines and grinds her hips into his hand only to be met with a sharp smack on her backside. Her gasp becomes a moan as he lets that finger slip deep into her pussy, brushing the ridge of his knuckle against the slick muscle inside her.

 

“Human lust devil,” he croons, switching into a tongue that never fails to make her tremble. Abruptly he pulls his hand away and a moment later she hears the crack of his belt as he flexes it in his hands.

 

The first stroke tingles, the second stroke smarts a little more and it takes a little while before Spock grows confident. He doesn't want to damage her but it's different this time. This time he is in control, he is under control even if he's hard as rock and burning for her. She clenches her teeth, determined not to make a sound but even if she's not made of glass she's only Human. As she struggles, his lip curls slightly and his breath becomes ever more ragged. He doesn't stop until he's sure there are tears in her eyes and when she sobs he lets out a long breath as pleasure courses through him. The belt is cast aside and he's on the bed beside her a moment later, his fingers stroking up and down the crease of her backside. His thumb presses into the tight knot of her ass and she whines but the sound becomes a moan as he slides the thick head of his cock into her pussy. His fingers tangle in her hair as he fucks her and when he comes, he pulls out, his pleasure multiplying a hundredfold as he bathes the purple welts on her backside with his seed.

 

The sound of their breathing is loud in the silence. Nyota's heartbeat roars in her ear as Spock's hand gently smoothes his scent over the scorching burn where he struck her. After a while, he pulls her upright and tucks her into his lap, her back flush against his chest and her head nestled under her chin. He slides his hand over her face and the feeling of his mind seeping into hers is indescribable. She wants to stay like that forever or at least for a little while longer, to just enjoy having him so near, so connected.

 

The universe has other ideas.

 

Xxx

 

 

In most respects, they appear like two people roused from slumber and hurriedly dressed. Sulu doesn't even look like he's awake when he staggers into the conference room. Chekov is wide eyed and speaking so fast that the others can barely keep up and virtually everyone seated around the table looks like their eyes are on stalks.

 

Nyota feels like she is still asleep. It feels unreal, like a dream and in her mind she feels Spock's soothing presence gently probing her consciousness, bringing her back into reality. The haze of pleasure and submission begins to fade and though she loves her job, truly loves it she still feels a pang of disappointment that she couldn't revel in the afterglow a little longer.

 

Soon adrenaline kicks in and she's back in the land of the living, engaged, focussed. She doesn't really consider what she must look like, her hair pulled back in a hasty bun and a brief brush of her thumb under her eyes. If she looks dishevelled the others probably think it is from being woken in the middle of the night. Probably. Nyota doesn't really think about it.

 

Spock thinks about it.

 

He notices the Captain's appreciative gaze but more potent is the dark look in the Doctor's eyes.

 

Spock hasn't been sure why exactly the Doctor doesn't like him, it might be some xenophobia, some dislike of his half Vulcan blood and his relationship to Nyota is most certainly a factor. Human men don't like that she's taken by an alien, even if he is a half Human one. If he and McCoy were developing an uneasy truce then Spock is certain recent events have done no small amount of damage and the daggers in the Doctor's eyes are unmistakeable.

 

The Doctor notices Nyota's red rimmed eyes, he notices the slight wince as she swivels in her chair, the stiffness of her gait as she crosses the bridge. He notices because he knows to look, Spock realizes. He notices because he thinks Spock is a monster, an abuser, an otherworldly freak that plays on her pity for the loss of his homeworld and his mother. In a way, Spock thinks he is right but as he watches Nyota moving back to her station he cannot find it in himself to care. Not now.

 

He meets the Doctor's gaze with an expression that is utterly Vulcan. His opinion is of no consequence. She is his and only his and whether he deserves her or not, he'll never let her go.

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that I see on the horizon? Is it? NO! It couldn't be....it's....it's...FLUFF! PS It's late and I didn't really proof read so apologies for errors.

 

 

Lurching from one crisis to another as they do, it's hard to find the time for conventional romance. Nyota doesn't mind. She chose this life and she wants this life and regardless, she never expected to fall in love so having Spock is a just the icing on the cake.

 

No, that's not accurate, she thinks. It doesn't do him justice but trying to define what he means to her is too complicated for her brain right now. Her mind is addled from lack of sleep and from the strain of Spock disappearing for days with Kirk and the others, slipping away into Romulan space to do god knows what.

 

She clears her mind as she sits alone in her quarters, trying not to think of him while simultaneously searching her mind for a hint of what he is feeling. She feels nothing, no not quite nothing but what she can sense is so distant she can't tell what it is. He is very far away from her.

 

She is staring out of the window in the mess hall, her food sitting untouched on the plate before her when the Doctor approaches. He asks her how she is doing and though she tells him she is well, she can't help but notice the look on his face as he casts his eye up and down her. She knows what he is thinking but she couldn't explain even if she tried. There's nothing wrong, she tells him and when he leaves she wonders who she was really trying to convince.

 

As time passes she feels Spock grow stronger in her mind but what she senses disturbs her. He's feeling smug, arrogant even but through it all there is spite and anger. When he returns and she is greeted by the sight of his shaved head, her voice catches in her throat. He doesn't look like the Vulcan she knows and loves but like the twisted image she sees in her mind sometimes.

 

He looks Romulan.

 

She turns away and does as she is bid, carrying out her duties like the professional she is. She doesn't have to turn around to know that he is watching her, she feels his eyes on her and it makes her shiver.

 

Xxx

 

 

Nyota doesn't understand what she is feeling. She wants to scream at him for what he has done but then she knows how that will likely end and she is uncertain if she is aroused or terrified by the prospect of being with him right now. She wonders what he would do if she marched into his quarters and started yelling at him. She stops that thought in its tracks because she already knows the answer.

 

Sulu is talking and Scotty is talking too, laughing and smiling so Nyota smiles and laughs too even if she is only half paying attention. Shore leave. They are talking about shore leave and Yeoman Rand pipes up from across the room. Eating and drinking and dancing. Nyota likes all of those things and Surak knows she needs to get off this ship for a while.

 

She feels him before he even enters the room and when the doors swish open there is the briefest lull in the conversation as the others take in Spock's appearance. Nyota doesn't look at him, she doesn't understand what she is feeling so she chases a green bean around her plate with her fork and smiles and nods.

 

His jealousy pricks at her, a sudden sharp pang in her heart. _Why won't you look at me?_

 

This isn't what she wanted. It isn't what he wanted either. What they wanted was what they used to be, what they were before any of this nightmare happened. Before Vulcan, before Nero.

 

But it has happened and they can't go back.

 

In spite of it all she won't go back.

 

She loves him.

 

xxx

 

He can sense her conflict. He knows part of her wants to scream at him for putting himself in harm's way. At the same time her interest is piqued, she's intrigued and excited and ever so slightly afraid of him. Spock can understand why.

 

He looks at himself in the bathroom mirror for a long time and doesn't know what to feel. He doesn't know if he even _is_ feeling at that moment. Emotion confuses him. Love he knows, tender affection, longing, desire, the smug pride he feels when he sees other men look at Nyota and watches the realization dawn that she is his. Loss, anger, hate, he knows these too but this sensation, this is different. It is....somehow both something and nothing. He wonders how it feels to be truly Romulan because even with the shaved head and the fading tattoos he _isn't_ Romulan. He never will be. He is not like them. He doesn't want to be like them. Angry. Suspicious. Deceitful.

 

As he enters the bedroom he stares at white scarf that hands over the back of a chair and imagines it contrasted against Nyota's skin. He picks it up and runs it through his fingers and some part of his brain sends pulses of longing through him, the memory of her hands around his throat and her nails in his chest making his heart flutter. Is that what Romulans would do? Is this how Romulans feel about their mates?

 

He considers Nero and his mad obsessive love for his dead wife, the woman for whom he destroyed an entire world. Spock's world. Spock's mother, the only woman besides Nyota he has ever loved. Did he want revenge? Yes. It was as illogical to deny it as it was to desire it but would he destroy a whole world?

 

He has come to realize he is capable of doing many things he never thought he could.

 

He swallows and sinks down onto the edge of his bed. In another life he had dedicated years of his life to unifying Vulcan and Romulus. The irony is not lost on him.

 

He folds the scarf up and sets it down on the ledge behind his bed. In a way, Romulus is all that is left of Vulcan.

 

He doesn't know how to feel about that, or if he even feels anything at all.

 

Xxx

 

He's waiting for her when she returns to her quarters.

 

She sees him hovering in the corner by the porthole, the stars sliding by outside. In the dim light she can't see his face, only the shape of his ears and his shaved head. She cannot suppress the shudder that goes through her. She is not sure if she is more afraid of the Romulan lurking in the darkness or the feeling the sight of him provokes in her.

 

Then he steps closer and she sees his face and strange as it is to see him like this, she can't be afraid because it's him.

 

“Spock,” she utters but then falls silent because she doesn't really know what to say.

 

“Where have you been?” he asks and she licks her lips. _Angry._

 

“Having dinner,” she replies, taking out her earrings and crossing the room to set them down on the table. Spock moves close behind her and she turns away to the wardrobe to retrieve her robe.

 

“Until this hour?” he asks, his voice low and rumbling. _Suspicious._ Nyota swallows and when she says nothing, Spock reaches forward to place the flat of his hand on top of hers, pushing her hand down. She shivers. “Do you think I am going to hurt you?”

 

“I don't know what to think,” she confesses, still not looking at him. Spock observes her profile for a long moment before reaching forward and stroking his other hand over the back of her head. Her eyes fall closed and he gently loosens the clip on her hair, separating the long dark strands with his fingers as it falls down around her shoulders.

 

“I know that you are angry,” he breathes, his breath warm against her ear. She presses her lips together and screws her eyes shut tight.

 

“What did you think you were doing?,” she chokes, shaking her head and Spock's hand tightens around her wrist as his other strokes down her neck and across her shoulder.

 

“My duty,” he states passively and her eyes fly open. She clenches her jaw and tightens her grip on her robe.

 

“Your duty?!” she hisses but then his lips are pressing a kiss to the shell of her ear and it momentarily steals her breath. She takes a deep breath and spins, shoving him hard on the chest. He staggers back a little way and when he meets her eyes, they glitter in the half light.

 

“Is the sight of me so repellent?” he rasps and she grimaces, her brow furrowing and her breath catching in her throat.

 

“I don't know what you expect me to say to that,” she tells him and he stands a little straighter, fixing her with a fierce stare.

 

“I expect you to tell me the truth,” he says with that hint of irritation that is the Vulcan equivalent of a snappy dog.

 

“The truth,” she mutters, dropping her head back and staring at the ceiling. How can she tell him the truth? Spock's nostrils flare.

 

“Nyota,” he growls and when she looks at him his eyes are fierce.

 

“I'm not sure what it is you want exactly,” she drawls, curling her lip at him in distaste. “You want me tell you how it makes me sick to my stomach to see you like this?” Spock blinks and drops his eyes to the floor. “Or maybe you want me to tell you how much I like it. Is that what you think? You think I like this?”

 

He doesn't know what to say because he knows that both are true.

 

“I don't know what I am feeling Nyota,” he confesses. _Deceitful._

 

“Yes, you do,” she accuses. “You know it and you hate yourself for it. I hate you for it.”

 

“You hate me?” he chokes, searching her face for clues. Nyota sniffs and feels a tear prick her eye.

 

“I hate what we've become,” she replies after a while. “I hate...that you did this and I hate myself because.....”

 

“Yes,” he utters, stepping closer and clasping her arms. “I hate it too.” Nyota raises her chin and looks him in the eye, reaching up to stroke her hands over his shaved head.

 

“There's something wrong with us,” she tells him, her voice scratchy and uncertain, her eyes wide and wet. Spock wraps his arms around and holds her tight.

 

“I know,” he replies and then he kisses her.

 

 

Xxx

 

 

 

Sex doesn't help but they do it anyway.

 

Afterwards Nyota thinks about how there was a time when they did it just because they loved eachother and not because she felt like he was going to break into pieces if she didn't try and hold him together. She realizes now that it was misguided to think that sex could stop that from happening but she wanted it all the same so it doesn't really matter anyway.

 

Of course she wanted him, she always did and she thinks she always will. Her beautiful, logical Vulcan. He thinks he's ugly and illogical on the inside but she knows that he's wrong. He's not ugly, he's not illogical, he's just broken.

 

Sex won't fix it but they do it anyway. Why shouldn't they?

 

They are in love even if lately it's seemed like they were something else.

 

Xxx

 

He's on the floor beneath her and she can't help herself. She drags her nails down his chest and something inside her clenches hotly at the green trails that spring up in their wake. Spock hisses through his teeth and holds onto her hips ever tighter. She knows there will be marks. She wants them.

 

His hiss turns into a moan and she smiles wickedly, twisting her hips around and around, sliding up and down the hard length of his cock and it feels so good she never wants it to end. But it must.

 

Her pleasure creeps closer and closer and he knows it. When he meets her eyes, they're blazing and his expression is so wild, so savage that she wants to sink her teeth into his shoulder.

 

She remembers that he is hers and if she wants to, she can. So she does.

 

“Yesss,” he hisses in Romulan and the sound sets her on fire. She growls at him and pulls the belt of her robe tight around his throat. Tonight he is everything that they both hate. He deserves it.

 

He gasps, his hands flailing until he find her face and Nyota sucks his thumb into her mouth as his fingers splay across her face.

 

This is her favorite thing, when he goes inside her head while they fuck and she can see all of him. There's no point hiding it anymore, pretending not to want the things they want. They know they have a problem and as his mind slides into hers, some part of her thinks that maybe she knows what the solution is.

 

There will be time for that later. She's in no state for that sort of thing now, not when he's inside her and she's so close.

 

“Little star,” he growls and when his fingers brush along the crease of her ass to probe just into the tight bud of her ass she comes.

 

Spock groans at the feel of her pussy clenching around him, so snug and so entirely his. As he watches her face contort in ecstasy, as he feels her pleasure sing through his soul as clearly as if it were his own he feels a primal, animal surge of possession.

 

She is his.

 

 

Usually when they are like this, when she's smug and post orgasmic and he's hard and prone beneath her she'll torment him a little bit. It makes him crazy with lust and where they are connected, it makes her crazy too. Tonight she wraps her hands around his throat and holds him still while she kisses him hungrily. He kisses her back with equal fervor until she bites at his lip hard enough to draw blood. Spock hisses and wraps her in a tight embrace as she proceeds to suck hard on the flesh of his throat. Normally she wouldn't leave a mark in such an obvious place but tonight it seems that she doesn't care. He doesn't care either.

 

She does torment him in a way but it's not quite as spiteful as it has been before. Her hair brushes over his chest as she makes her way down his body to take him in her mouth. His fingers tangling in her hair make her twitch, sending little shocks of pleasure through her. When he flips her over she doesn't protest, when he sits her up against the side of the bed she's compliant she takes him deep. He bumps the back of her throat and she groans, the vibrations from her throat shooting all the way up his spine. She leans her head back against the mattress and scratches her nails down from the crease of his ass all the way along the underneath of his thighs.

 

“Stelam,” he growls, looking her right in the eye as he comes and the pleasure on his face is enough to make her forget everything that's ever been wrong between them.

 

 

Xxx

 

 

“Talk to me, Stelam,” he murmurs.

 

Nyota strokes her hand down his chest.

 

“I don't know what to say,” she replies, yawning and snuggling closer.

 

“I just want to hear the sound of your voice,” he tells her, wrapping his arm around her. She taps the tip of her finger against his stomach.

 

“Tell me about the mission,” she implores, turning to peer at his profile. His Adam's Apple bobs in his throat and he licks his lips.

 

“What do you want to know?” Nyota purses her lips and hesitates for a minute.

 

“Tell me how you felt,” she says and it is a long time before he speaks.

 

“I felt...anger,” he admits eventually.

 

“Hmmm,” she murmurs in understanding. “What else?”

 

“I felt....conflicted,” he says after a moment.

 

“Why?” His fingers trace circles on her arm.

 

“Between my duty and....my desire for revenge,” he confesses, his eyes closing. She squeezes her arm around him tightly.

 

“You wanted to make them suffer,” she offers and he nods, his eyes screwed tightly shut.

 

“Yes,” he chokes and her heart constricts as she feels his anger.

 

“Because of what he did.” Spock's jaw clenches and he lets out a sharp stuttering breath.

 

“Because of what he did,” he agrees bitterly. “Because of what he took from me, from us.” Nyota closes her eyes and lets his sorrow wash over her. His world, his mother, all the lives that he extinguished, people that he knew and cherished in his Vulcan way. She thinks of how it was before, of how they lay together like this and all the plans they made. She thinks of his father's house and the image Spock put in her mind of a child, their child running through the halls and the view of the rugged Vulcan desert visible through the windows beyond.

 

She feels like there is a huge weight pressing down on her chest and she struggles to breathe.

 

“I did my duty,” he says quietly. “I did my duty but inside, I wanted them all to die.” Nyota chokes a little and rolls onto her back, her eyes brimming with tears. Spock turns to her but for some reason she can't bear the thought of him seeing so she sits up and hugs her knees to her chest, hiding her face behind the her hair.

 

He's there, sitting up behind her, his hand warm and gentle as he strokes her back with slow, soothing caresses.

 

“Don't hide, Nyota,” he says gently. “Don't hide your tears from me. I need them.” She turns to him abruptly and when she sees the sorrow on his face the tears begin to fall more heavily. He cups her face in his palm and catches one on his thumb, drawing it back and staring at it for a long time.

 

“I have never cried,” he states blankly, his eyes fixed on the glistening drop on his thumb. Nyota sniffs.

 

“Not even as a child?”she asks blearily.

 

“I do not know if I can,” he tells her and she swallows, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She licks her lips and rubs her palm across his chin.

 

“Did you ever want to?” Spock looks her in the eye for a long time before he nods.

 

“I want to,” he breathes, his voice barely a whisper. “But I do not know....how....” Nyota runs her fingertip along one arched Vulcan brow.

 

“I can't tell you how,” she says sadly. “It's not something you can teach.” He nods and opens his mouth to speak but no words come out.

 

“You have to cry for both of us,” he says gravely and she nods.

 

“I have,” she tells him. “I will.”

 

Spock wraps his arms around her and holds her close and although she can't see his tears, as she hides her face in his neck she know that he is crying on the inside.

 

xxx

 

 

It is hours later when her alarm goes off and she shifts, climbing over Spock's sleepy form to smack the panel on the wall. He grunts and she mumbles nonsensically in reply before flopping back down and going back to sleep.

 

She isn't certain how long passes before Spock is gently shaking her awake. She cracks one eye open and peers up at him with a scowl.

 

“I'm asleep,” she complains and he raises one brow.

 

“You must report to the bridge in thirty minutes,” he tells her softly.

 

“Aaah fuck,” she moans, closing her eyes and rolling back over. Spock strokes his hand down her back gently and she sighs. “I can _not_ wait for this shore leave,” she tells him as she forces herself to a sitting position. Spock wraps his arms around her and leans his chin on her shoulder.

 

“You have made plans,” he states gently. Nyota stretches her arms.

 

“Yuhuh,” she says, the sound mangled by her yawn. “Kind of.” Spock gives her a look and she shrugs slightly. “Janice Rand and some people are planning on going out, you know and they asked me if I wanted to go.”

 

“Going out?” he queries, running his hands up her arms and gathering her hair away from her neck.

 

“Like...dancing,” Nyota clarifies sheepishly and Spock nods. She turns to glance at his face but his expression is inscrutable. “Spock?” she asks gently and he quirks a brow.

 

“And you wish to accompany Yeoman Rand and these....people,” he says and she purses her lips.

 

“Is that a problem?” she replies, watching his face but he won't meet her gaze.

 

“You do not need to ask my permission,” he says quietly. Nyota chews her lip for a second, reaching up to cup his jaw in her hand.

 

“I just thought it would be good to get away, you know,” she explains as he leans into her touch. “To get off the ship. Get a change of scenery.”

 

“And what?” he prods gently. Nyota shrugs and gives him a half smile.

 

“And I don't know, get out of this uniform for a little while. Dress up a bit.” Spock's nostrils flare a little and his arms slink around her waist.

 

“You are intending on wearing a dress?” Nyota hesitates.

 

“Yeah,” she replies, wriggling out of his arms and climbing over him towards the edge of the bed. As she throws her legs over the side Spock grabs her lightly around the waist and pulls her back down to lie on the mattress beside him.

 

“Which one?” he drawls in her ear and trails her fingernails gently through the hair on his arms.

 

“I don't know,” she says nonchalantly. “The black one. Maybe the gold one.” She cannot miss the sharp intake of breath behind her.

 

“The gold one?” he croaks and she smiles.

 

“Maybe,” she says non-committally. When he does not reply she rolls over and peers at his profile. He is staring at the ceiling above, stroking her arm with a thoughtful expression on his face.

 

“It would be good to get away,” he parrots. “To get off the ship.”

 

“You hate dancing,” Nyota reminds him, pushing up on her elbows and regarding him sceptically. Spock quirks a brow.

 

“I do not believe I expressed a desire to do so,” he informs her snootily and she snorts derisively, shaking her head as she rises from the bed.

 

“What are you going to do, Spock?” she quips as she pads across the floor to retrieve her robe. “Hold my drink?”

 

“And appreciate the scenery,” he tells her. Nyota looks back at him, lounging butt naked in her bed and when she sees the twinkle in his eye, she chuckles.

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok clearly I have no self control and it seems this fic is turning into an actual story, albeit one with no redeeming value whatsoever. Wait a minute, this is fanfic so I guess that's a given huh? No porn in this chapter, just gratuitous feels and people looking pretty and Spock and Nyota going out and about being coupley. YAY for coupleyness. Expect the porn to resume in full force next chapter (it might be a few days, I have a lot of crap to contend with in RL) Peace and long life mah brethren! XXX

 

Spock isn't going down to the planet with Nyota, not yet and it is a perfectly logical arrangement. It would be illogical and unethical to use his position to alter the shift rotations for his own benefit and it is unnecessary besides. He has things to achieve on ship and he is aware of the psychological benefit of her having Human companionship and besides, he has no desire to endure the Human tradition of 'small talk' of which there doubtless be an abundance during the dinner Nyota is on her way to enjoy. He is however conveniently supervising transports when she walks through the door on her way down to the surface.

 

They don't speak but he looks her in the eye and conveys to her the intensity and sincerity of his regard for her. Nyota smiles ever so slightly and dips her head bashfully, clip clopping after Yeoman Rand and Lieutenant Masters as they approach the transporter pads. He watches as she steps up beside her companions accompanies by Mr Sulu, Mr Scott and Mr Hendorff. Spock is aware of the latter's affection for Nyota and is reassured by his presence in their group not least of all for his protectiveness of her. He observes through the glass as the technician adjusts the settings for transport and admires her in the final moments before they disappear. She is stunning in her gold dress, her feet clad in typically illogical Human shoes and her long hair waving deliciously around her beautiful face. He doesn't have a favorite dress because that would imply an illogical and excessively emotional attachment to a mere garment but he is of the opinion that this one is a particularly flattering specimen. Spock cannot understand why she should find it so odd that he of all people, her lover, her mate, should want to be in her company when she looks like that, should want to watch her while she dances. Although in truth, Spock's appreciation for her does not hinge in the slightest on what she is wearing or if she is dancing. He thinks she could be wearing a grain sack and shaved as bald as he is and he would still want to be with her. He loves her.

 

Love, real genuine love, Spock knows, is not an all consuming physical want for someone, it is more complex than that. Yes Spock wants her, sometimes he wants Nyota beyond all logic and reason but his love is more than that. He loves her primally, passionately, primitively but he also loves her rationally, reasonably, logically. He loves her ability to solder circuits on the comms array, he loves her ability to differentiate between the subjunctive and ablative cases of Vulcan (most Terrans cannot see the difference), he loves her First Dan Suus Manha certification. He loves her singing voice, he loves her cooking especially her plomeek, he loves her ironic use of the present continuous tense when the present simple is more appropriate. _Would you be liking some tea Spock? Can I be having a kiss Spock?_

 

He loves her mind and her soul as well as her body, even if her body is singularly stunning. It's not that she doesn't want to be with him Spock knows, it's that Humans are not evolved to be constantly in the presence of their mates and when he being reasonable, he trusts her. It's enough he thinks, to be able to feel her in his mind and if she wants to go down to the planet with her Human companions then he will not try to stop her.

 

When he's being unreasonable he is less understanding. He has been unreasonable often of late although Nyota says that is understandable all things considered. He doesn't consider them, all he considers is that she is his and he wants her and he can't understand why she wouldn't want to be with him. Nyota tells him he is acting like a caveman so he growls and wraps his arms around her and in the same way that his mother did to him as a child, he performs a very odd,very wet and singularly Human action against her skin with his lips until she squeals with laughter. He doesn't laugh but he likes it when she does.

 

When the transports are complete he returns to his station on the bridge and in the tedium of standard orbit, reviews the latest data from some long term experiments he has been running and attempts to convince himself he does not feel a sense of urgency to see her in that dress again.

 

 

 

Xxx

 

Doctor McCoy is surprised when several hours later Spock enters the transporter room with the Captain. It is a rare sight to see anyone out of uniform but even more the Vulcan First Officer, clad from top to toe in black and still virtually bald, his head now covered by a dark shadow of black hair. Spock does not comment that it is illogical to presume he possesses nothing but Starfleet issued clothing and steps up onto the pad beside the Captain, clasping his hands behind his back and staring straight ahead.

 

“Anyway, I didn't think bar hopping would be your scene Commander,” the Doctor quips. “Doesn't seem very logical.” Before Spock can reply the Jim pipes up.

 

“I'm sure it will seem a lot more logical when we get there Bones,” he says with a sly grin.

 

Their relationship is an open secret, common knowledge although rarely acknowledged even in such veiled terms. Spock is not offended nor is he jealous but what he cannot deny is the smug pride he feels at the memory of Nyota as she stepped onto the transporter and the satisfaction of knowing that she is his. Doctor McCoy scowls and grunts a little but before he can respond the transporter is activated and they are surrounded by swirling white light.

 

Xxx

 

As soon as he becomes cognisant of his surroundings Spock likewise becomes more acutely aware of Nyota's state of mind. She's a little giddy, doubtless from consuming intoxicating substances and her mind feels chaotic, emotional, uninhibited. She knows he is near and he feels a flutter of excitement course through her. He is gratified.

 

He walks beside the Captain and the Doctor as they make there way from the transport terminus into the city. The air is filled with the murmuring of voices and the whizz of the mass transit system as it rushes by. They pass through narrow streets, wide alleyways crammed with towering buildings and bright lights. It's busy and Spock notices there are at least as many outworlders as there are natives. He therefore attributes the glances that come his way to his current appearance, presuming that it must indeed seem odd to see a single Romulan in the company of two Terran males. Noone accosts him directly so he does not let it concern him.

 

Spock hasn't come tonight because he intends to make conversation or to drink to excess or to flirt with strangers. He hasn't come because he intends to enjoy the music (he is sure he will not) and he hasn't come because he intends to dance. He has come for two reasons, one being being that it pleases her to have him near in this scenario and the other that he plans to observe Nyota for the sheer pleasure of observing her. It is not logical but he is going to do it anyway.

 

When they reach the bar, Spock does not disavow the server of his misguided belief that he is Romulan nor that Romulans drink nothing but that blue swill called Romulan ale but he cannot miss the look of surprise on his face when he instead orders Altair Water. It's slightly awkward and Spock is grateful that neither Dr McCoy nor the Captain mention it.

 

“Now don't take this the wrong way Spock,” Jim tells him with a playful grin as the server departs the table with their order. “But I feel a certain kind of pride when I find myself in a bar on an alien planet and the hottest girl in the room is a Human.”

 

Spock raises a brow as he attempts to decipher what is no doubt intended as a compliment to Nyota albeit one veiled in Human machismo. Spock does not point out the inherent objectification of her present in the statement because even though his own pride is somewhat less... _Human_ he is nonetheless likewise gratified.

 

Nyota is attempting to make her way across the crowded room to greet them but she has been hijacked by an inebriated Mr Scott who is gesticulating wildly as he introduces her to some unknown alien subjects of whom he has apparently made the acquaintance. She catches Spock's eye and gives him a smile and he finds himself agreeing that she is most certainly, to coin that Terran colloquialism, _the hottest girl in the room._

 

Spock burns for her.

 

“Hi,” she half speaks half yells as she reaches their table. Jim is first out of his seat but they all rise to greet her as she slips between the seats.

 

A second later and the server returns with their drinks and Spock takes the opportunity to discreetly brush two fingers along the back of hers as he guides her into the free seat beside him. She smiles and blinks at him lazily before she seats herself elegantly in the chair. Before the server departs she orders a Klavnian Fire Tea, crossing her legs towards Spock and leaning ever so slightly closer.

 

“I trust you found your culinary endeavor to be gratifying,” he says and she pulls a face.

 

“Um, it was...weird,” she replies, screwing her eyes up a little. “They're really into foams and purees here and it was....it was nice it was just....it felt so insubstantial. I guess that's why Scotty's so drunk,” she comments, gesturing towards him with her chin. He's grinning maniacally and his squawking Scottish brogue is just audible over the music.

 

“No, that's just because he's Scottish,” Jim quips and is rewarded with a dazzling smile from Nyota. Spock is not oblivious to the Captain's thinly disguised adoration of her even if he knows Jim would not dare go any further with it.

 

“What about the local tipple?” Bones interjects with a wry half grin and Nyota hesitates, a mischievous look passing across her face. Jim and Bones raise their glasses and give them customary clink before they take a sip.

 

“Yeah, we had some of that too,” she tells him, watching as he tentatively takes a drink of the glass he just ordered. Nyota chuckles as the Doctor's face twists up with discomfort as the pale purple liquid burns its way down his throat.

 

“Sweet lord of mercy,” he gasps, setting his glass down.

 

“Hoo wah!” Jim chokes, pulling an equally ridiculous face and looking at Nyota accusingly. “You could have warned us!”

 

“And let you miss out on the experience? No way,” Nyota protests with mock defensiveness.

 

Spock observes the exchange with muted amusement but all he can really think about is how elegant she is, how charming she is and how he very much approves of the gold dress.

 

 

xxx

 

 

Nyota has abandoned them in favor of the dancefloor and Spock watches as she dances with Helmsman Sulu. He knows she is not intending to appear excessively sexual but he thinks that she is so beautiful and so feminine that even the most restrained of moves still appears sensual. He is aware that she has been acquainted with her dancing partner for longer than she has known him and quells the flicker of possessiveness in his stomach. Spock will not dance with her and he would rather she dance with someone he knows and trusts, as far as he trusts any man with her. Spock takes a sip of his drink and clutches his glass tightly in his palm.

 

“I didn't think Vulcans were meant to be the jealous type,” the Doctor quips, his bold, cantankerous demeanour exaggerated by drink. Spock turns to look at him and raises one eyebrow.

 

“I do not experience jealousy, Doctor,” he replies glibly and the Doctor snorts in disbelief.

 

“Whatever you say, Spock,” he slurs, emptying his glass and setting it down heavily onto the table.

 

Spock turns back to Nyota to enjoy the sight of her pleasing form moving in time to the unconscionably loud bass that throbs across the dancefloor. In the distance Jim is leaning his palm against the wall as he talks intimately with a smiling blue skinned female. Bolian, Spock identifies, an unusually aesthetically pleasing member of her species. He expects nothing less from Jim Kirk.

 

“I am perfectly secure in my relationship with Lieutenant Uhura,” he informs Dr McCoy dryly without looking at him. Bones stares at him, his expression cynical and his eyes hard.

 

“You know Spock, you want everyone to think you're so upright, so logical,” he says in a low voice, leaning over the arm of his chair and looking Spock right in the eye. “But I see right through you.” Spock meets his gaze with a blank look but before he can reply Nyota has reappeared beside the table.

 

“Hey,” she says breathlessly. Sulu appears behind her, equally breathless and grinning broadly. “How are you?” she asks rapidly, not inebriated exactly but not entirely in control of her faculties.

 

“Well we're just fine,” Bones says, suddenly all sweetness and light and Nyota smiles at him, the corners of her eyes crinkling adorably as she sits down next to Spock.

 

“What are we drinking?” Sulu asks the Doctor, helping himself to the contents of the bottle on the table.

 

Spock ignores them, focussing all his attention on the stunning creature beside him. She smiles and looks him in the eye.

 

“You want to get out of here?” she asks softly. She does not need to ask him twice.

 

Xxx

 

 

 

“It reminds me of Old Shibuya,” Nyota tells him as they amble hand in hand through the bustling streets. Spock nods in assent.

 

“There is a likeness,” he concurs and she smiles for a second before continuing to peruse the glittering shop front and the endless parade of brightly lit neon signs that obscure the night sky.

 

Spock can sense her pleasure, he feels it too and it's reflected back from her and multiplied. It's intoxicating. Holding hands in public is almost as kinky for Spock as some of the other things they do in the privacy of the bedroom and she was almost giddy with delight when she convinced him to kiss her as they crossed the park.

 

He doesn't care today because they left virtually everyone they know at the bar and everyone thinks he's Romulan anyway. It feels strangely liberating.

 

She notices people staring at them but so long as they leave them alone she doesn't care either.

 

They amble down a narrow sidestreet, the smell of street food in the air and it's not long before they find themselves walking besides intoxicated revellers in varying states of undress.

 

“Spock,” she giggles as she stares at the obscene illuminations on the front of one establishment. “I think we're in the Red Light District.” Spock tilts his head to one side as he considers her words. “You know, the seedy underbelly,” she teases and he quirks one brow.

 

“So it would seem,” he agrees and when she squeezes his hand tighter, he squeezes back.

 

“Is that legal?” Nyota queries, screwing her eyes up as she peers down the street at an exotic assortment of alien beings hanging around on the front steps of a particularly seedy looking bar, clearly soliciting the passers by with varying degrees of success.

 

“This is not a Federation world,” Spock reminds her, tugging her closer and guiding her into an arcade of shops.

 

“Oh!” Nyota chirps bashfully at the sight they encounter. An Orion woman half in and half out of an oversized fish tank sucking on the tentacle of a strange almost octopus like being with a look of rapture on his face. Her face. Nyota isn't quite sure.

 

“It would seem we have stumbled across one of the city's more specialized shopping areas,”Spock quips, looking at her and raising one cheeky brow. She chews her lower lip and giggles a little, pressing her arm against his and shuffling past.

 

They find themselves in some kind of gaudy bazaar of sexual excess, a xenophile's wet dream Nyota thinks. Not that she can legitimately claim to be innocent in that regard, glancing up at her pointy eared lover and blushing a little.

 

“Jolan tru,” a feminine voice coos as they make their through the arcade and Spock turns his head to meet the smiling face of an alien woman. Nyota doesn't recognize the species but she's quite striking, her skin an almost marbled swirl of blues and greens, like the oil paintings she did as a preschooler. “What species are you?” she drawls meeting Nyota's eyes.

 

“Human,” Nyota stutters although she hadn't actually planned on answering at all. There is something compelling about this woman's eyes and she finds herself leaning closer to get a better look, intrigued by the strange swirling of her blue green skin.

 

“Lovely,” the woman says breathlessly raising her hand and reaching out to stroke Nyota's hair but before she can touch her Spock steps between them and ushers her away. Behind her she hears the strange woman's chuckle. “Romulans,” she utters. “So possessive.”

 

“Spuh...Spock,” Nyota says, swaying a little and chuckling. He wraps his arm around her and holds her close as they walk on.

 

“I believe that female was attempting to exert some form of mind control,” he tells her. “No doubt a means of extorting money from unwitting travellers.” Nyota swallows and shakes her head a little as her mind clears, taking in the array of bizarre erotica displayed in shop windows along the row.

 

“Oh I don't know Spock,” she comments. “I think the kind of people who come here know exactly what they are getting.”

 

“I would have to disagree, Nyota,” he replies, letting his arm come to rest around her waist as her hand likewise finds its way to his hip. “After all, you and I find ourselves here quite by chance do we not?”

 

Nyota lets out a bark of laughter and presses her palm flat across her mouth. “Of all the things I thought I would see when I embarked on a career exploring the galaxy,” she giggles.

 

“Indeed,” Spock agrees and when she looks up at him she cannot help but smile at the look of amusement on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry to leave you hanging just as the fun times are happening! Couldn't be helped!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Apologies for long hiatus. Real life plus too many WIPs!! Hope this chapter doesn't disappoint. As usual warnings for graphic porn and dark and nasties. Let me know your thoughts! Sokona xxx

"I feel I must apologize. I do hope you will not think us all to be quite so barbaric," a voice crooned in heavily accented Romulan. Spock was not certain why he did not correct the erroneous presumption of his heritage and instead cast his eyes from side to side as he took in the scene playing out in the narrow arcade, the flashing lights of the city's security services reflecting brightly through the window and making his inner eyelids flicker.

"Do not concern yourself. Such behaviour is common to most humanoid species," Spock replied coolly after a moment, straightening up and turning to glance at the placid face of the shopkeeper standing beside him. "It was kind of you to allow us to shelter in your establishment," he added neutrally and the shopkeeper smiled in a way that Spock found slightly disturbing.

Their evening stroll through the city had been interrupted when two males of differing species had come careening out of what was ostensibly a bar but in reality a brothel, screaming loudly in a tongue Spock could not understand and exchanging blows. They were soon joined by several others who initially appeared to be attempting to separate them but soon become embroiled in the fighting when a number of passers-by were accidentally drawn into the fray. A chorus of screeching females appeared around them and Spock, understandably protective, had bundled Nyota through the door of a shop as the melee spilled down the arcade toward them. The shopkeeper had hurriedly bolted the door behind them and it was inside that Spock now stood, watching with distaste as bright lights and the muted crackle of comms of the security service drifted through the glass.

"Think nothing of it," the shopkeeper said in a sickly sweet voice, steepling his fingers and smiling as he glanced briefly through the window before turning his attention towards the elegant figure that was perusing the display several meters away from them. "Utterly charming," he commented, his eyes flicking up and down Nyota's slim form. "May I ask what species?" Spock glanced towards her and back at the shopkeeper, unable to repress the slight flare of his nostrils.

"Human," he replied dourly and the squat man formed his mouth into an Oh of comprehension.

"Yes, I had heard the females are quite lovely," he replied cautiously, detecting the hint of territoriality from the tall apparently Romulan male standing beside him. "An exquisite specimen if I may say," he added..

Spock did not reply merely glanced at him through narrowed eyes. The shopkeeper shifted somewhat uncomfortably under Spock's sour gaze and was grateful for the distraction when a moment later Nyota's gentle gasp of astonishment sounded along the aisle.

"Oh!" she chirped as a brief crackle of blue static arced towards her, stepping back a little and shaking her hand back and forth. The shopkeeper ambled towards her chuckling mildly.

"Orion pearls are renowned for their electro-staticity," he informed her with an indulgent smile and she flushed, her eyes darting towards Spock as he approached behind their host to observe their exchange with hawk eyes. She could see the tips of his ears twitching imperceptibly and at the sound of breaking glass outside, he turned his head sharply to observe as a green skinned reptilian man was dragged kicking and screaming down the street outside. "Would you care to try them?" the shopkeeper's voice said politely.

"Thanks but I don't think they'll go with my dress," Nyota quipped, glancing at the pale green orbs and massaging her middle finger to get the feeling back. The shopkeeper chuckled knowingly.

"They are usually worn ... _internally_ ," he said and Spock turned to see Nyota's jaw drop slightly, her brows sliding up her forehead in surprise.

"Oh," was her only reply, glancing towards Spock with a look of mild embarrassment on her face. The shopkeeper smiled and dipped his head deferentially, opening his mouth to speak but then there was an odd chirping, purring sort of noise and he snapped his head towards the sound in mild alarm.

"Do excuse me," he said hurriedly, disappearing down the aisle to where a small, strange half feline half reptilian quadruped with a shimmering collar had appeared on the countertop and was sticking its scaly feet into a tank of bright blue Bolian anemones. Nyota didn't even want to guess what they might be used for and watched with amusement as the shopkeeper shooed the creature away.

"Interesting place," she quipped as Spock moved closer, casting her eyes up and down the odd assortment of erotic accoutrements on display.

"Indeed," he replied, looking intently at what appeared to be an electro-shock collar, the leather-like material studded with gaudy looking stones.

"You like the collar, Spock-kam?" Nyota drawled suggestively, moving to stand close beside him and he met her cheeky grin with the slightest quirk of his brow.

"Such an object might have its uses," he informed her dryly.

"Uh huh," she replied absently as she picked a small paddle from the wall and slapped it into her palm experimentally. Spock turned to her at the resounding crack that emanated from her palm and plucked it from her hand to examine it more closely.

"Fascinating," he commented, turning it over in his hand before bringing it down hard against his own palm. Nyota licked her lips and swallowed as he met her eye. "I confess I am intrigued at the sound this device might make when applied to your posterior, Miss Uhura." Nyota gaped at him in surprise.

"Spock!" she gasped and he gave her a sly look.

"Maintaining discipline is one of my duties," he informed her nonchalantly, twirling the paddle around in his fingers and she snorted with amusement.

"I'm not sure Starfleet approves of spankings," she told him, a broad grin spreading across her face as he flexed the paddle menacingly.

"I was not referring to my role as First Officer," Spock told her casually and her eyes crinkled at the corners as she chuckled. "Merely reflecting on common Romulan marriage practices." Nyota's eyes went wide.

"You mean like...Romulan bondage?" she teased, flushing hotly at the hungry look on his face as he let his eyes wander up and down her body.

"They are a notoriously territorial species," he told her in a low voice.

"Uh huh," she breathed as he leaned forward and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"For instance, a Romulan would not be so tolerant of his mate dancing with another man," he told her, trailing his fingertips slowly down her throat. Nyota's lips twitched as she suppressed her smile and attempted to maintain a suitably demure expression. "Least of all so publicly."

"How fortunate I am then that my beloved is so...enlightened," she said, narrowing her eyes as he brushed his nose against hers briefly.

"I am gratified that you think so, Little Star," he crooned and a hot pang of desire shot through her at his tone. "Although I confess seeing you dancing tonight..." he trailed off and waved the paddle between them menacingly.

"What is a Human supposed to do?" Nyota said with a cheeky grin and Spock's eyes narrowed.

"Perhaps I ought to consider a collar for you after all," he mused, scraping his teeth over his lower lip and turning his gaze back towards the hideous shock-collar on the stand beside them. Nyota wrinkled her nose a little.

"You know I'm certain there are other more traditional ways for you to stake your claim, Spock," she told him sarcastically. "Like... matching tattoos or jewellery or something." Spock pursed his lips and tilted his head to one side.

"I am not certain there is a gem in existence beautiful enough for you, ashayam," he told her, catching her hand and tugging her closer. Nyota dipped her head and blushed, a broad smile spreading over her face at his words. Spock nudged her with his shoulder and gently dragged her alongside him as he stepped into the adjoining aisle. Nyota opened her mouth to speak but fell silent at the assortment of artificial phalluses that stood before them. When she looked at Spock he seemed likewise awed.

"What's that saying, Spock?" she quipped, plucking an especially weird specimen off the shelf. She turned it around in her hand, examining with some dismay a bifurcated corkscrew shaped phallus rendered in a bright blue polymer. "Infinite Diversity in Infinite Combination?"

"I am not certain this was quite what the ancients had in mind when they coined that particular maxim," he told her, quirking one brow at her playfully. Nyota let out a breathless chuckle and squeezed his hand as she placed the object back on the shelf.

"It seems to have quietened down outside," she commented as they wandered down the aisle, looking past Spock's chest through the window beyond. Spock did not reply and when she looked up she found him gazing intently at a selection of gleaming silver colored objects displayed behind a locked glass cabinet. Her lips formed an slight O of surprise as she turned to look more closely.

" _Pekh-razh-kem,"_ Spock said gently, turning to look her in the eye and she chewed her lip, flushing as she translated the words.

"There's a Vulcan word for this?" she murmured, trying to project indifference even though she knew Spock could feel the flutter of excitement that pulsed through their bond.

"There is," he replied softly, nodding ever so slightly and glancing back at the cabinet. "Did you not say you would prefer something more...traditional." Nyota stared at him wide eyed and slack jawed as he gestured at the gleaming silver behind the glass. They were several inches long, oval shaped and tapering to a flat edge at one end. Each one was engraved with varying designs and Nyota swallowed hard, her throat suddenly dry as she processed the purpose for which they were intended.

"Traditional?" she queried with wide eyes.

"Gold pressed Latinum," a familiar voice intoned in a strangely accented attempt at Romulan and Spock's lashes fluttered at the interruption. "Hand crafted on Romulus. Would you care to take a closer look?"

"Yes," Spock said, his eyes fixed on Nyota's profile as she stared at the  _pekh-razh-kem_ in the cabinet before them.

"There is of course a much rarer, Vulcan equivalent," the strange little shopkeeper told them as he tapped a security code into a panel on the wall and a previously invisible forceshield flickered around the glass case. A locking mechanism whirred and he reached forwards to pluck the case off the wall and set it onto the shelf in front of them. "These are however still quite valuable," he continued as he lifted the lid.

Nyota licked her lips and felt Spock's breath on her neck as she reached forward to cautiously run her fingers over the smooth metal, tracing the pad of her finger across the fine engraving. Timidly she picked one up and turned it around in her hand to reveal the sparkling gems inlaid on the flat end of the  _pekh-razh-kem_ and when the pattern was revealed she heard Spock's slight intake of breath behind her.

"How much is this one?" his voice queried over her head.

"Fifteen hundred Romulan currency," the vendor replied and Nyota's eyes widened. She licked her lips and was setting the object back into the casing when Spock spoke.

"Twelve hundred," he uttered haughtily and her eyes grew even wider. She turned her head to look at him and he raised a brow at her nonchalantly.

"Sir, I am afraid I could not go so low," the vendor replied sorrowfully. "This object is worth far more than that."

"Twelve hundred and fifty, not a talon more," Spock countered and Nyota cleared her throat awkwardly.

"Hmmm," the vendor said, looking her up and down thoughtfully and Nyota flushed at what she knew was going through his mind. She turned her face away, aware of the tremor of excitement that Spock was feeling at that very moment. "For such a beautiful creature...thirteen hundred and fifty," he said, attempting to intimate that he was being uncharacteristically generous.

"You rob me," Spock hissed in Romulan and Nyota found herself surprised by the venom in his tone as his demeanour morphed from coolly disinterested to gravely affronted. It seemed to have the desired effect and she could not miss the flicker of fear in the vendor's eyes. It was not wise to irritate a Romulan.

"Very well, sir, thirteen hundred but I cannot accept a talon less," he said finally and Nyota could tell that his discomfort was genuine. She chewed her lip and dropped her eyes to the ground as Spock took a sharp breath in through his nose and sucked on his teeth. Apparently he had picked up a few pointers on his jaunt into Romulan space.

"Agreed," he said eventually. "But you bleed me." The vendor raised his hands and made a contrite face.

"This is business," he said apologetically but Spock was not listening, reaching forward instead to pluck the  _pekh-razh-kem_ out of the case. Nyota raised her head and stared at the glittering gems set into the latinum base, flaring out from the centre to form a five point star.

"Do you like it Stelam?" Spock asked gently, his lips close to the shell of her ear and his fingers flexing gently on her bicep. Nyota's lashes fluttered and she licked her lip, her throat suddenly inexplicably dry.

"It is very expensive," she croaked and his fingers squeezed her arm slightly.

"We can afford it," he told her and she turned her head to glance up at him sheepishly.

"I..." she said but fell silent as he turned the  _pekh-razh-kem_  over in his fingers.

"Would you wear this for me Stelam?" he said, his voice unbearably gentle as he reached up and ran the cool metal slowly across her cheek bone. She blinked slowly, aware of the deep, throbbing arousal that coursed out of him and into her. She swallowed.

"I would, ashayam," she murmured and even though she could not see his face, she knew that he was smiling.

Xxx

They did not speak much when they finally emerged from that odd boutique. Nyota felt like a silly, simpering female as the vendor sterilized and wrapped the strange and intimate gift Spock had bought for her, flushing every time he looked at her knowing that he knew exactly where it was going to end up. As Spock pocketed their purchase and led her out of the store her whole body thrummed with anticipation, her excitement oozing out of her pores and into him where it was multiplied and transmitted back to her.

"We have some time yet before we must rejoin the others," Spock informed her passively as they ambled back through the crammed streets towards the park.

"Hmmm," Nyota said, her lashes fluttering and she smiled at him ever so slightly before falling silent once more.

"Is something troubling you, Stelam?" Spock queried as they made their way back the same way they had come, walking along the brightly lit pathway that twisted serpentine across the park.

"No," she replied quietly and when she met his gentle gaze she smiled at him softly.

"Something is troubling me, ashayam," he said, coming to a halt and turning to face her. Nyota looked him in the eye and her brow furrowed with concern.

"What's wrong?" she asked, pouting her lips at him sympathetically. Spock blinked and swayed a little closer. He did not speak, leaning forward to press his lips against hers instead. Nyota hummed and let her fingers curl into his, kissing him back tenderly. He kissed her languidly and when they broke apart, Spock leaned his forehead against hers.

"You are so beautiful, Little Star," he told her wistfully and she smiled, staggering a little as he hustled her backwards off the path and across the spongy blue tinted moss that covered the park like grass.

"Spock," she chided, smiling at him disapprovingly but she did not protest. Spock's arms were around her, holding her against him so that all she had to do was keep lifting her feet and let him guide her into the darkness. Tall trees jutted up on either side of them, their leafy branches obscuring the night sky above and as they moved deeper into the glade, the sounds of the city were muffled by the rustle of leaves and the cool babbling of water nearby.

"Kiss me," he implored and she chuckled as she complied, wrapping her arms around his neck and scraping her fingers over the gentle fuzz that covered his scalp. "I love you," he told her breathlessly between kisses. "I have burned for you since the moment I laid eyes on you tonight."

"Yes, my beloved," she said, her heart swelling with pleasure as he peppered her face with kisses.

"It was torture," he continued, pressing her against the trunk of a tree. "Watching you all night and not being able to touch you, to be alone with you."

"Hmmm, yes," she babbled as his hands roamed her body. "I wanted you to touch me."

"And in that place, that stinking, noisy pit with the others," he growled, laving the dip of her collarbone with the flat of his tongue. "The stench of them all was so strong but you...through it all I could still smell you." Nyota groaned as he sank to his knees and pressed his mouth against the flat of her stomach as his hands slipped under the hem of her dress.

"Spock," she gasped, peering down at him as she clutched at his pointed ears. In the half light seeping through the trees, the planes of his face were cast in shadow and the slant of his brow and the glint in his dark eyes made her inside clench hotly. "My passionate Vulcan," she drawled and he pressed his face against her stomach as his fingers looped into the elastic of her underwear.

"It is not logical," he murmured, his breath hot against her skin even through the fabric of her dress. "They know that you are mine but still...still I wanted to show them all. I wanted to...hold you close, to mark you," he half sobbed, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her backside as he dragged the tiny scrap of silk down her thighs. Nyota trembled, desire coursing through her body as she scratched her nails up the back of his neck and roughly across his scalp.

"Spock, Spock, Spock," she chanted as he nuzzled the smooth skin of her thigh, lifting one foot and then the other as he tugged her underwear over her feet. He inhaled deeply, tucking her panties away in his pocket and stroking his thick fingers upwards, pushing her dress up out of the way.

"You belong to me, my beautiful Nyota," he rasped, his voice ragged as he prised her thighs apart and roughly hoisted one leg up over his shoulder. Nyota pressed one hand against the tree behind her, grinning wickedly at his hiss as she pressed the pointed heel of her shoe hard into his back. Spock growled and sank his teeth into the soft skin of her inner thigh in retaliation and she whimpered. Voices drifted through the darkness from the pathway beyond and Nyota bit her lip to stifle her cries, gripping onto the rough bark of the tree behind her and clutching the crown of his head with the other as his tongue darted out to drag hotly over the aching flesh of her sex. She moaned a little, screwing her face up and letting her head fall heavily back against the tree as he sucked her clit between his lips, his tongue swirling around and around and sending hot sparks of pleasure through her. Her pussy clenched, begging, pleading to feel him inside her and sensing her hunger for him, Spock growled a little before obligingly pressing two fingers inside. Nyota's mouth fell open and she grit her teeth as she tried not to make a sound, grinding her hips into his hand even as his tongue worked furiously across her clit.

She gasped, a sharp, hitching breath and a slight breeze made the leaves rustle in the branches overhead. There was a vague splashing in the water beyond but Nyota wasn't capable of thinking about it clearly, the pleasure in her limbs growing ever more intense until she was shocked out of her stupor by the sudden sensation of Spock's sharp teeth sinking into the sensitive skin of her inner thigh.

"Ooh," she hissed, her eyes flying open to glare at him questioningly as he turned his attentions away from the demanding ache in her pussy to lave at the bite mark on her leg. "You," she growled, tugging his ear maliciously and in the half light she could see the slight sneer on his face, his white teeth glinting at her through the darkness.

One hand came up and pinned her wrist back against the tree and when she struggled against his grip, Spock slithered up her body to stand upright, pressing her back against the rough bark. He kissed her hungrily on the mouth and she returned it in kind, her tongue stabbing into his mouth and making him grunt. When he pulled back and let his eyes flick up and down her face she scowled at him, reaching for his lips against and huffing in displeasure as he leaned just out of reach.

"Patience, Little Star," he crooned, nudging her cheek with his nose.

"Spock," she hissed through gritted teeth and he gave her a wicked half sneer that sent a funny feeling shooting through her body to throb hotly between her legs. Nyota shoved at him with her shoulder and his hand came up to close around her throat menacingly.

"Now, now, Nyota-kam," he chided, squeezing ever so slightly and making her lose her breath. "Behave yourself or I will not let you have your present," he threatened and she stilled, watching him through slitted eyes as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the gleaming latinum orb they had procured a short time before.

"Spo-ock," she choked as he dragged it upwards over her body, circling her nipple through her dress before letting the cold latinum dance across her face. When he pressed it against her lips, she opened her mouth and cradled the heavy weight of it against her tongue. Spock's eyes narrowed and his breathing faltered as he slowly slid it in and out of her mouth for a minute before pulling it abruptly out with a wet smack. She took a breath, intent on saying his name but before she could speak he was kissing her again, his tongue probing into the wet recesses of her mouth and sucking on her own.

Nyota yelped as one hand gripped her hip hard and she found herself spun around and pressed face first against the trunk of the tree. Her fingers dug into the bark, small shards digging into the quicks of her nails as she held on while his hand tangled in her hair. His breath was loud in her ear as he nuzzled the side of her face, his teeth nipping at her earlobe as his other hand unceremoniously shoved the fabric of her skirt up to expose her bare ass to him. She groaned as he ground his hips in torturous circles against the swell of her backside, the unmistakeable ridge of his erection hard through the fabric of his pants.

"Ashayam," Spock drawled, the flat of his tongue dragging over the shell of her ear as she felt the smooth tip of the engraved latinum brush along the crease of her ass. The cool metal was warm and slick from her mouth but she gasped all the same as Spock pressed it slowly against the tight knot of her ass. She tensed, her hips jerking away instinctively but Spock tugged on her hair and pressed his body hard against her, pinning her to the tree. "Hush, hush, Stelam," he breathed. "You knew this was going to happen."

"Spock," she choked, trying to swallow around the lump in her throat. Her heart was hammering inside her chest and her body was tingling with unfulfilled arousal, Spock's dark excitement pouring into her and magnifying the sensation.

"My beautiful Stelam," he murmured, twisting the  _pekh-razh-kem_ as he pressed it slowly, torturously into her. She took deep, shuddering breaths and the burn of the hard metal subsided when she felt his fingers press against her cheekbone. Her head swam as his dark possessiveness washed over her, tinged with overwhelming lust and desire. Spock growled with pleasure and she heard his sharp intake of breath as he took her discomfort from her and made it his own. "Ashayam," he sighed, his eyes screwing tightly shut and hiding his face in her shoulder as the slick latinum slipped into her, the tight muscle of her ass contracting around the smooth metal as he pushed it deeper into her body until all that remained outside was the glittering star on the base.

Her breath was loud and she could hear her pulse in her ear as she panted, shivering and pressed flush against the tree. The sound of the brook was soothing despite the hot ache in her abdomen, part of her protesting at the intrusion in her ass as another part of her begged to be filled. Spock's hands stroked gently down her sides and he tugged gently on her hips, her feet shifting slightly against the ground beneath as he leaned back to examine the gleaming jewel nestled between the smooth, round cheeks of her ass.

"Nyota," he murmured, stroking his palm gently over the crease between her buttocks. She jerked a little at the contact and her breath hitched but a moment later he was pulling her back further. She gasped and her hands slid down the ragged tree trunk as he arranged her to his liking, bent over further so that her sex was exposed to him. His fingers pressed into her aching pussy and she moaned with pleasure as the rough pad of his thumb massaged her clit. A moment later she heard the familiar sound of a zipper as he freed the hard length of his erection from his pants to brush it teasingly against the back of her thighs.

When she felt the smooth, hot skin of his cock nudge against her pussy she whimpered and wriggled her ass against him, seeking, demanding. One hand slid around to splay across her stomach as he guided himself with the other and a moment later, Nyota was rewarded with the delicious sensation of his thick cock sliding into her. They groaned in unison as he slowly filled her, moving ever closer until he was buried to the hilt inside her. Nyota let her head fall forward, her hair falling like a curtain around her face as he rocked his hips against her.

It felt unbelievable, each slide of his hips against her making the  _pekh-razh-kem_ shift inside her body and eliciting a gasp from her lips. Spock hummed in delight, letting his hands slide upward to cup her breasts as he fucked her slowly.

Nyota felt utterly exposed and yet at the same time so completely safe in his arms. Her Spock, her beloved, she knew he would not let anyone touch her, not let anyone harm her. Through the haze of lust and the dark pleasure that filled her as he fucked her with increasing fervor, she could feel his deep, primal love for her. His ashayam, his mate.

"Yesss," she hissed as one hand dug into the bone of her hip while the other tugged on her hair. "Yes, Spock!"

"Stelam, my beautiful one," Spock grunted through his teeth, the slap of his sex against hers loud in the quiet of the trees. She felt wanton, she felt wild, like a primal creature and the realization that mere meters away strangers went about their business oblivious to what was happening in the shadow of the tress sent waves of pleasure through her. Her pussy clenched and her clit burned and when Spock let his hand slid around her hip to brush between the sticky curls of hair between her legs, her whole body seemed to spasm as she came. "Yes!" Spock growled, his thrusts growing ever more forceful and erratic and Nyota sagged a little, her hands losing their grip on the tree.

Spock pulled on her hair and she let out a yelp as she found herself tugged upright and pressed bodily against the tree. Spock was inside her, his thick cock boring into her and his breath hot and damp against her ear as he fucked her relentlessly, his own climax fast approaching. When she felt his fingers brush against the side of her face, she turned her cheek eagerly into the palm of his hand. His fingers pressed hard against her cheek, hard enough to be uncomfortable but Nyota didn't care because moments later he was coming, the delicious sensation of his hot seed spilling into the tight, hot muscle of her pussy pouring out of him and into her and she couldn't help herself as a ragged cry fell out of her mouth, echoing loudly amidst the quiet of the trees.

Xxx

Spock held her for a long while as they swam in the sweet haze of each other's mind. Gradually she became aware of the ache in her limbs and soon after the realization of their location and their lack of attire crept into her consciousness. Spock's hands were all over her, tugging her dress down to cover her body and holding her with one strong arm across her back as she turned to slouch against his chest.

Breathing hard, Spock adjusted his pants and flicked away a leaf that was sitting in her hair. Nyota swayed in his arms and when he finally took her hand to lead her back to the path she staggered a little.

"Are you well?" he asked gravely, looking at her face intently.

Nyota's eyes were glazed as she nodded, her mind still reeling from the strange sensation of the  _pekh-razh-kem_ still buried deep inside her. Spock held her up with an arm around her shoulders until she found her feet, slowly guiding her back towards the meeting point where they were due to meet with the others they had left in the bar hours before. Every time he ran his eyes over her she smiled at him sleepily but the concern was evident on his face. She seemed dazed, her steps were cautious, uncertain and there was a slight red tinge on one side of her face where he had over enthusiastically pressed his fingers against her in his desperation to meld with her.

"I love you," she told him, smiling at him dreamily and running her fingertips over his lips.

"You are mine, Nyota," he told her earnestly, his dark eyes warm and sincere.

As they approached the meeting point, they were greeted by an enthusiastic Scotty and a put upon looking Lt Masters who was propping up a swaying Sulu, his brow glinting with sweat and looking for all the world like he was about to vomit.

"Hey!" Yeoman Rand greeted as they approached. "So we're just waiting for the Captain," she told them with a smile. Nyota smiled back and let her shoulder press against Spock's as they sank cautiously down onto a stone bench inside the transit point. She winced a little at the hard nudge of the  _pekh-razh-kem_  inside her but then Spock's fingers were curling discreetly into hers where they hung down in the space between the seat and the wall behind. Dr McCoy stood under a lamp a short distance away and said nothing, giving Spock only the briefest of glances. At the sound of heavy footsteps pounding across the ground, Spock turned his head along with everyone else to see the Captain came running towards them with a broad grin, his face flushed red with a combination of intoxicating liquor and something else Spock recognized. Nyota had the same look although he was not so certain it was as easily detectable on a Vulcan. All the same, as they rose from their seat and Nyota made her way on shaking legs to the transporter pad, he could not miss the glimmer of venom in the the doctor's eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It has occurred to me somewhat belatedly that this fic is a total mess for tenses and narrative styles. I apologize (tho I am nonetheless fairly unrepentant).


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N. "Noone in the western world needs to eat ever again. We're all overfed so I thought, why fuck about with chicken or soup, let's just get to the cake." (Dylan Moran done said that so he did.)
> 
> Cake. Star Trek sex cake. More or less, that's all this is. Hope it hits the spot. Apologies for errors, I'm impatient and it's unbeta'd. Dedicated to Poofles and Spock Jr.

When they eventually rematerialized aboard the ship, Spock said nothing as they disembarked from the transporter pads. Nyota was a few steps ahead of him and glanced over her shoulder to meet his eye for a second before turning her attention back to Lieutenant Masters. He could feel the thrum of pleasure that coursed through her, the afterglow she would call it and he was starting to think that the term was apt. She was glowing, resplendently dishevelled in her gold dress and her makeup starting to smudge a little around her eyes. The redness on her cheek from his fingers seemed less angry in the artificial light of the transporter room but then she turned her face away from him as she moved towards the door.

The transporter room was filled with the murmur of chatter as the next rotation going down to the planet crammed onto the platform behind them and the Captain made a quip about not besmirching the good name of Starfleet to the departing crewmembers. When the Captain addressed him he turned and met Jim's eye, nodding mutely as the captain made some vague noise about a change being as good as a rest and slapping Spock on the shoulder. There was some laughter and Spock's Vulcan senses made him acutely aware of everything that was happening around them but he wasn't really paying attention, he was too busy listening to Nyota's conversation. She wasn't saying much, smiling sleepily and humming in reply as she walked beside her friend a little way ahead of him. In the corridor outside his eyes dropped to the sway of her hips and the wiggle of her backside as she walked in front . In spite of crowd of people, the rank odor of stale alcohol and Human sweat in the air, Spock could still smell himself on her, could taste her in the back of his throat. He knew she could feel it, could feel her amusement at it but what else did she expect? He was a man in his prime and she was beautiful and she was his and he knew that under that dress she was wearing the gift he bought for her and nothing else. The thought made him burn again.

He remained quiet and followed her through the halls, he knew where she was going without her saying a word. The crowds thinned out as they went, Nyota let Lieutenant Masters give her a peck on the cheek as she disappeared into her quarters and right behind him he could hear the Captain babbling drunkenly. They were approaching the section of the ship where the senior officers quarters were located when Jim came to a halt and grabbed Bones by the shoulders.

"Let's uh...have a nightcap, Bones," he suggested convivially as Nyota glanced back over her shoulder and continued along the corridor. Spock was grateful when the Captain did not extend that invitation to himself nor the communications officer that was slinking away around the corner ahead.

"Uh huh," McCoy replied. Spock didn't bother to look back at them, disappearing around the corner after Nyota instead. They were alone in this section of corridor and it was quiet, the only sound the fading chatter of the doctor and the captain behind them, the steady hum of the warp reactor in the background. Spock's ears could hear her breathing, the slight shuffle of fabric as her dress slid over her skin and when she came to a halt outside his door, Spock pressed his hand on top of hers as she reached up to tap the access panel on the wall. Nyota turned her head and peered at him through the hair that was obscuring her face, meeting his eyes with a hint of a smile as the doors slid open. Spock stood in the doorway and observed as she stepped into the room, his eyes falling to her ankles as her high heels clip-clopped on the hard floor.

He stepped inside and the doors closed gently behind him as Nyota ordered the computer to dim the lights. Spock was silent as she lit one of his meditation candles, the light from the tiny flame dancing over her face as she peered at it for a long moment. Spock did not move, just let his gaze run over her body and have a minute to appreciate the sight of her.

"You are so beautiful," he murmured and she smiled.

"So are you," she replied quietly, setting the candle down and running the pad of her index finger around the rim of the wax.

"Even like this?" he queried as she leaned back slightly against the console on the table. Nyota swallowed and chewed on her lower lip as she met his gaze.

"You still have to ask me that?" she asked softly, giving him another gentle smile. Spock blinked and let out a slow breath. No, he thought, he didn't have to ask and she knew it.

"Perhaps it pleases me to hear you say it," he told her, stepping a little closer. Nyota's smile grew wider and she reached up to fiddle with a wrinkle in the fabric of his shirt.

"My beautiful Spock," she said, looking him in the eye and letting her fingers brush across the fading tattoo on his cheek. He reached up and gently cupped her elbows in his palms as her hand slid down his throat and across his chest, her fingers slipping under the hem of his shirt and into one of the loops of his belt. She smiled, tugging gently and he swayed a little closer.

"Ashayam," he breathed, closing his eyes and brushing his nose against hers. He could feel her smile as she hummed and pressed her lips to his in a timid kiss.

"Yes," she murmured, dragging the nails on her other hand over the swell of muscles in his chest.

"T'Khiori," he continued, pressing little kisses across her cheek and stroking up her arms with his fingertips.

"Hmmmm," Nyota mumbled, her face disappearing into the crook of his neck as his lips moved down her throat.

"Stelam," Spock growled, pressing his teeth against the fluttering pulse he could feel as his lips brushed against her carotid artery. Nyota shuddered and pulled him closer, one hand sliding around his waist as the other curled around his neck.

"Spock," she said against his throat and she shuddered as he sucked on her skin, his arms wrapping around her and pressing her against him tightly. She stroked the hair on the back of his neck and hummed as his hands wandered, sliding down her back to clasp her backside in a firm grip. She gasped a little at the sensation of the pekh-razh-kem shifting inside her and she could feel the flutter of his pleasure through their bond. A rumbling sound spilled out of his chest as he pulled the skirt of her dress up to expose her ass to his scrutiny, his teeth nipping at her shoulder as he spied the glittering gem nestled between her cheeks.

"Take this off," he hissed, mauling her dress with clumsy hands. Nyota chuckled a little but the sound morphed into a gasp as he clutched her biceps in a strong grip. She chewed her lip again and swayed a little, his eyes boring into hers for a moment before she stepped back a little way to comply. Spock's expression was feral, his lips curved into a smile that would be sweet if not for the fierce slant of his brow. Nyota wasn't afraid as she slowly slipped the fabric of her dress over her shoulders, she'd always found his alien-ness to be sexy and even more so when he was looking at her like this.

She blinked and eased her dress down, letting it pool on the floor around her feet. She stepped out of it and kicked the gold scrap away so that she was standing before him in the candlelight nude except for her high heels and the hard mass of latinum hidden away inside her body. Spock let out a breath and the sound made goosebumps pop up all over her skin.

"Hmmm, beautiful," he crooned, his eyes raking up and down her bare form. Nyota was compliant when he reached for her, tugging her a little closer and clasping her elbow in hard grip before he buried his fingers in her hair. "Stelam," he murmured, brushing his other hand over her face and letting his fingers snag on her lower lip. Obediently, she cradled his index and middle finger on her tongue and Spock hummed in approval, his eyes narrowing as he tilted her head back and pressed them deeper into her mouth. Nyota let her hands slide across his chest, insinuating them under his shirt so that she could feel the warmth of his skin and the coarse fuzz of hair that covered his body. She tugged at the hem of his shirt but Spock batted her hands away, pushing her arm back so that he could stroke down her body. Nyota moaned a little as his palm closed around the soft swell of her breast, his damp fingers brushing over her nipple. His other hand still in her hair, he tugged her head back and let his tongue move wetly over her throat, his teeth scraping against her skin as he tilted her back further. Nyota clutched at him, feeling his delight as her nails dug hard into his skin as she held on. Spock growled with pleasure as he tipped her back, her spine arching and her hard nipples pointing upward as his mouth travelled down her chest to suck them between his lips.

"Hmmm, Spock," she murmured, closing her eyes and letting one hand come up to stroke across the back of his head. His arm was around her waist, holding her tightly and she relaxed in his embrace. He wouldn't let her fall, she knew it, so she went limp and let herself enjoy the feeling of his warm, wet mouth on her skin. Her nails dug into the back of his neck as her other hand slid under his shirt to stroke across his back and she smiled as she felt his muscles twitch under her palm. He gasped, a grunting animal sound as he pulled his head away from her breasts and roughly pulled her to him for a hungry kiss. She returned it willingly and Spock let his hands stroke up and down her back, one travelling up to cup the back of her head while the other moved down to squeeze one cheek of her backside. She gasped a little, the latinum inside her was warm from the heat of her body but every time it shifted it sent a hot shock like static electricity through her body. Spock smiled, a sneering, snarling kind of smile as he felt it too.

"Take this off," she uttered breathlessly, clawing at his shirt. He growled with dissatisfaction but released her long enough to let her pull the shirt over his head, rewarded the instant her skin was against his.

"Hmmmm, Nyota," he rasped, pulling her close again and wrapping his arms around her.

"I love you," Nyota whined, screwing her face up and pouting as she pressed herself against his chest and held on tight.

"Yes," Spock hissed as her hands roamed his chest, her lips catching his as she kissed him hungrily.

"I love you so much," she sobbed pathetically, digging her nails into his chest. Spock grit his teeth and growled as one hand moved down his body to cup between his legs. His hips jerked into her touch but as her movements become more frenzied, he buried his fingers in her hair and stilled her with a sharp tug. Nyota gasped and went still, frozen by the intensity of his eyes boring into hers. She was trembling with anticipation and when his fingers pressed hard against her cheek, she whimpered at the force of his hand against her face, still sensitive from his attentions in the park. Her eyes rolled back in her head for a second at the hot rush of his consciousness into hers and the pain was forgotten in an instant as another more pleasant sensation poured into her mind. "Hmmm, yes," she uttered breathlessly as she saw what he wanted, as he filled her head with delicious images that made her burn all over. "Yes," she repeated, opening her eyes a little and looking at him, her lip curling up wickedly. Spock blinked at her, his face contorted by that devilish look he only wore when they were together like this, that was only for her. It made her heart constrict in her chest and she reached up to press her lips to his, humming with mock sweetness as her hands moved up and down his bare chest.

Spock's arms had gone limp around her, hanging about her waist in the loosest of embraces and he peered down his nose at her, grunting with pleasure as she sucked his lips into her mouth while her hands wandered down towards the button of his fly.

"Spock, Spock, Spock," she taunted, stepping from one foot to the other and the tap of her heels on the floor made his smile grow more wicked. Nyota chewed on her lip as her fingers slipped under the waist of his pants, tugging the zipper teasingly but making no move to open it, pushing him back against the console behind instead. Spock watched through narrowed eyes as she pressed a kiss against the hollow in his collarbone, stroking one hand over the back of her head as she began to leave a trail of hot open mouth kisses down his chest. Nyota hummed, pressing the flat of her tongue against him as she went and the hard lump in Spock's pants twitched with the promise of what was to come. She peered up at him and smiled as she slowly sank down to her knees, rubbing her palm over the ridge of his erection where it lay trapped in the confines of his pants. Spock held her head in both hands, stroking her hair back away from her face and gathering it into a bundle behind her head as she mouthed his hardness through his clothes. He watched with hawk eyes, hissing a little as he felt her teeth biting through the layers of fabric that still separated him from her touch. When her hands came up to finally loosen the button of his fly, he coiled her long hair into his fist, his whole body thrumming with anticipation.

When her fingers finally parted the fabric of his pants, she was gratified by the twitching of the sculpted muscles in his abdomen. She loved that part of him, pausing to admire the V of muscle where his body joined his thighs. She leaned forward to press a kiss to the smooth skin of his stomach, the silky skin of his cock brushing against her cheek as she did so. When she peered up at his face, Spock was watching her with a deranged expression, his lips curled up in a wicked smile as she placed little teasing kisses from the head of his erection all the way down the hard length to his balls. He groaned with delight, his nails scratching her scalp lightly as she fondled them in her palm, the flat of her tongue sliding along the skin where they met the shaft of his cock. Spock clenched his teeth and hissed out her name as she sucked them into her mouth one by one, her tongue swirling underneath wetly. When she hummed the vibration went straight through him and his cock twitched under her palm as she idly stroked him up and down. Spock's brow furrowed and his jaw clenched when she finally dragged her tongue up the throbbing heat of his erection, sliding up from root to tip in one long, wet lick. He grunted, his hips jerking forward of their own volition as her mouth closed around the leaking tip, her tongue brushing over the sensitive ridge underneath.

Spock could not contain the long moan that fell out of his chest as she teased the tiny slit on his cock with the tip of her tongue. He couldn't help from coiling his fingers tight in her hair, watching with wide eyes as her lips moved up and down the hard length of him. When she took him deep he closed his eyes and let his head fall back, his long loud groan filling the cabin. Nyota didn't protest as his hips began to thrust against her, just clutched at his backside with one hand while she slid the fingers of the other along the crease of his ass. When her finger brushed against the tight knot of his anus he gasped and jerked hard into her mouth. She gagged a little but didn't pull away, just held him there deep within her and when his hand connected with her face again she was rewarded with every sensation that was coursing through him at that moment. Spock's arousal poured out of him and into her, making her clit throb mercilessly between her legs and she ached for him to touch her. As she bobbed her head, the sound that filled the room was so obscene she flushed hotly, her hand sliding down to stroke between her legs as she took him deep again. Spock's grip was hard in her hair and when she peered up at him he was watching her with a look that made her groan with pleasure as her fingers flicked over her clit with short, sharp strokes.

"Stelam," he stammered and her stomach flopped. Her head spun with the odd sense of power that came from reducing him to this state, from hearing his voice waiver and his lip tremble. When he pulled on her hair sharply, she gasped, his cock slipping out from between her lips with a wet smack. She closed her eyes and panted, her chest heaving as she took deep, rasping breaths. "Hmmm, yesss," Spock growled and she looked up at him as he let the length of his erection press against her cheek. Nyota whimpered and reached up, stroking her palm across his cock where it lay flush against her face and letting her tongue flick out across his balls once more. Spock smiled that wicked, sneering smile and reached for her, one hand still tangled in her hair as he tugged her on her arm and brought her to her feet. "My little star," he murmured, closing his eyes and he nuzzled her face with the tip of his nose. She moaned and let her palms come to rest against his chest, opening her mouth as his tongue flicked tauntingly over her lips.

She screwed her face up as he denied her his kiss but her pout was lost by the sudden gasp she let out as he spun her around and shoved her down over the console.

"Spock!" she choked and she blinked hard at the odd sound of his chuckle behind her. It was not laughter exactly, more a bizarrely mirthful kind of grunt as he stroked his hands up and down her back, hoisting her up by one hip so that she was spread out to his liking.

"My Nyota," he growled and she whimpered as he squeezed the round swell of her backside, parting her cheeks and making her asshole clench tightly around the hard latinum pressed deep inside her. She moaned as he brushed his fingers over it, dancing across the engraved tip to brush across the wet folds of her sex. She moaned and writhed as he found her clit and stroked, his fingers manipulating her nerve endings in that maddening Vulcan way and sending her out of her mind. She choked out a breath at the pleasure that washed over her, her whole body tingling as he plunged two fingers inside her. As he twisted his wrist around, her muscles clenched around his fingers with a loud,wet smack and her moan was drowned out by his snarl of pleasure. She bit down on her lip hard as his fingers slid out of her and moved wetly up to the hard metal of the pehz-rakh-kem, sliding underneath to stroke the aching knot of her asshole beneath. Nyota screwed her face up and clutched the hard edge of the console tightly as Spock gripped the metal in his fingers and twisted it from side to side, pressing deeper for a second before pulling it out. She cried out as the hard metal slid out of her, stretching her wide for a second before he plunged it in deep once more. Her whole body thrummed and twitched as he repeated the action, the hard length of his erection pressing against the back of her thigh and his breath loud in the stillness of the room.

The first strike of his hand was unexpected and she flinched, gasping loudly in surprise at the hot sting of his palm against her skin. Her blood roared in her ears as he shifted, the blunt head of his cock pressing against her pussy but he didn't make any move to enter her. He brought his hand down hard against her ass once more and then again and again until she was whimpering, sobbing at the burn of each blow and just as she felt tears prick her eyes he shifted behind her and tugged on the knot of latinum buried in her ass. They groaned in unison as he penetrated her slowly, the sensation of his thick cock filling her in stark constrast to the delicious sting as he slowly pulled the pehz-rakh-kem out of her a little way before ramming it back in. She was mewling pathetically, sobbing uncontrollably as he thrust hard into her pussy, her breasts pressed flat against the cold console beneath.

Spock was growling now, a harsh, snarling sound that did strange things to her body. Nyota clawed at the console as he fucked her with a few short, sharp thrusts before pulling out of her altogether. She yelped as he pulled her back a little way, her skin squealing against the plastic of the console as she slid downwards and the pehz-rakh-kem slipping out of her with a wet pop. She was dimly aware of the thunk of metal as it fell forgotten to the floor and then the hot sensation of his tongue pressing against her asshole, his hands stroking up and down her back with firm touches until one hand coiled around her throat. She flinched momentarily and then went limp at the soothing sensation of his mouth sliding up and down the aching crease of her backside. Then hard fingers were slipping into her, stretching her wide open and when his hand tightened around her throat she knew what was coming next.

Her eyes screwed tightly shut and she gasped as his hand squeezed her throat, a hot, burning sensation momentarily flaring out into her lower body as he entered her. The feeling subsided, soon replaced with the odd sensation of him moving with long, slow thrusts into her body. The hand at her throat slid up across her face and her eyes rolled back in her head as she became intimately aware of the pleasure that was burning within him with every roll of his hips against her. She gasped but her breath seemed to catch in her throat like she had forgotten how to breathe, her whole body singing with sensation as he fucked her with ever more forceful thrusts.

He was leaning closer now, his lips against her ear as he babbled a strange mix of obscene and tender things into her ear. How he wanted her, how he loved her, how he loved to fuck her but the meaning of the individual words blurred in her head, every rational thought driven out of her mind by what she was feeling, by what he was feeling. There was no space left for her inside her head, there was only him until suddenly the connection ended and Spock pulled back, leaving her sprawled across the console a gasping, trembling mess of unresolved desire.

"Come here," Spock's voice commanded from behind her and with trembling limbs, Nyota pushed herself upright. Palms flat against the console, she ignored the merciless burn between her legs, the throb of her clit and the hot ache in her ass as she turned to face him. Spock's expression was a heady mixture of stricken and lustful and when he reached for her she went willingly into his arms. He kissed her hard on the mouth, his tongue probing deeply as one hand slipped down between them to find her clit. She dug her nails into his biceps and whimpered, the sound morphing into a pathetic kind of mewling howl as he pinched and twisted and rubbed. Spock growled in delight against her mouth, his palm rubbing against the flood of wetness that seeped onto his fingers from her body. Nyota let her head fall forward against his chest as she caught her breath and he hummed, stroking his free hand over the back of her head for a moment before his fingers tangled into her hair once more. She gasped and tried to swallow around the lump in her throat as he pulled her head back and forced her to meet his eyes. She held his gaze for a brief moment, the smile playing on his lips growing more feral as he forced her down onto her knees once more.

The moment that his cock brushed against her lips she opened her mouth to take him inside. One hand held her head in a vicelike grip while the fingers of the other pressed bruisingly against her cheek and she shuddered, pleasure washing over her once more. She hummed and let her eyes fall closed, a few strokes of her tongue on his cock sending him over the edge. His fingers pulled hard on her hair and his breath stuttered, short, hissing pants through his teeth that morphed into a long, loud groan as his hot seed spurted into her mouth. Nyota moaned and held onto him, one hand on his hip and the other circling his cock in a loose grip. She could feel his pulse fluttering rapidly under his skin and when his fingers flexed against her, she felt her whole body tense up as his orgasm washed over her.

Time passed, she wasn't sure how long but when Spock's finger stroked gently over her face, tucking her hair behind her ears she pulled back and peered up at him. He cupped her jawbone and looked at her expectantly and she smiled, an odd kind of a smile as she opened her mouth and let him see the evidence of his orgasm on her tongue. Spock blinked and stroked her face tenderly, a peaceful, satisfied smile playing on his lips.

"My little star," he told her as she swallowed, chewing her lip and leaning her head into his hand for a moment. "Very good," he murmured, his voice sounding very far away and she felt oddly like she was back at the Academy, the naïve cadet trying desperately to impress her unobtainable tutor. As Spock caught his breath, she pressed her face against his thigh panting hard until he shifted, reaching down to scoop her up into his arms.

Nyota looped her arms around his neck and laid her head against his shoulder as he carried her across the room to his bed. Settling down on the sheets, Spock took a moment to run his hands over her body, moving slowly down her legs and unbuckling her shoes one by one. She sighed sleepily as he rubbed her feet, spying though her lashes the pekh-razh-kem on the floor across the room but then Spock was laying her out across the sheets, his lips tracing a lazy path down her body until his head was nestled between her thighs

Nyota didn't think about anything after that except the slow sweep of his tongue across her sex, the hot brush of his breath and the gentle hum as he sucked her clit between his teeth. When she came, it was heavy and slow, like molasses trailing off the back of a spoon.

"Do you know that I love you?" he asked as he caressed up and down her body with slow, languid strokes.

"Hmmmm, love you," she murmured sleepily, prone on the bed and her eyes closed. Spock continued his ministrations, his palms sliding across her skin sensuously. He opened his mouth to tell her that that was not what he asked but the gentle buzz of her snore reached his ears before he could speak. Spock watched her for a long time, as he often did when they were together like this until eventually he lay down and curled up beside her. After a moment, let his hand come to rest on her face once more, her mind reaching out to his without him even having to seek it out. Lulled by the sound of her breathing, his eyes grew heavy and laying like that beside her, cocooned by the softness of her body and the warm haze of her mind, he slipped into a deep, dreamless sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's all folks, I won't be coming back to write more on this one, I just haven't got it in me to dredge up that many feels. Hope you enjoyed the ride!


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